Dreaming With a Broken Heart
by PyroQueenOfFire
Summary: Dean Winchester has found himself brought back into a rather painful place. Now he has to face his memories of Milly and when he realizes she could actually be a spirit, he has to figure out how to cope...can he let go of his love?; Dean/OC
1. Cottonwood Falls

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay so when I'm in a bad mood, I write angsty stuff.**

**This story is **_**very**_** angsty.**

**I also wanted to write Dean from a different angle.**

**ENJOY!!**

**Oh and the warnings: Language, Sensuality, Sex, Violence, Dark Themes, Drugs.**

****

_Milly Bishop smiled a little and rolled her eyes as Dean Winchester walked up to her at the bar and sat down on the stool next to her. She looked at him as he looked at her and flashed that amazing smile of his, her sister, Lexi, and her best friend, Grace sitting on her other side, going quiet and listening. Milly actually seemed to get picked up a lot, but she had secrets and normally she just turned them down and went on with her life—the outcome was always something for the three to talk about later._

"_I couldn't stop myself from coming over here." Dean told her, looking up at the bartender as he made his way over. "How about another drink for my lady friend?"_

_Milly laughed a little and looked at the bartender. "I could use another Shirley Temple, thanks Peter."_

"_Coming right up, Sis." He replied, smiling at his younger sister and then giving her another drink and shooting Dean a look._

"_That's my older brother. You should probably avoid making him mad." Milly told Dean, and then cocked her head to one side and pushed her dark brown bangs out of her face. "Now…how many times has this pick-up of yours worked?"_

_Dean smirked at her. "You let me know."_

"_I think you have this under control, sis, so…Grace and I are heading off." Lexi told her older sister, kissing her cheek. "I'll see you at home."_

"_Bye, Lexi. Bye, Grace." Milly said, and then she turned her attention back to Dean as the two walked away from her. "Don't worry—there are only three of us Bishop children around here."_

_Dean smirked again. "So I got a last name out of you, eh?"_

_He leaned into whisper to her and smiled a little as she didn't pull away from him, breathing in the smell of coffee and vanilla. She was a little intoxicating to him and right then he wasn't sure if he really wanted to finish this hunt and just move on. This girl was not going to be easy, and as the hour dragged on Dean found himself actually interested in pursuing her even though she wasn't coming home with him._

"_So…how do I keep in contact with you?" Dean asked her._

_Milly smiled and reached for his hand. "I'll give you my number."_

"_Look who's coming onto who now." Dean told her and laughed when she rolled her eyes and used a pen of hers to write a number in his hand._

"_Just call me and you'll see me again." Milly explained, and then she headed out of the bar and Dean watched her walk away, watching her behind as she walked away._

Dean woke up slowly that morning, a small smile on his face until he realized exactly where he was: some random motel room, in a motel bed that smelled musty and worn. He wished for a moment that the smell of coffee and vanilla was on the pillows, but soon he had pushed the thoughts away and sat up. Ironically, Dean smelled some coffee, and looked up at Sam as he came into the motel room and smiled at his brother—nothing like coffee in the morning to wake someone up.

"Morning." Dean grunted out, trying to get his eyes to adjust to his surroundings as he woke up.

Sam nodded and handed his older brother the coffee. "Morning. I let you sleep in while I researched a hunt."

"You found one?" Dean asked, sipping the hot coffee and burning his tongue.

"Yeah—it's in Cottonwood Falls, Kansas." Sam told him.

Dean did a double-take for a moment and swallowed—Butler was Milly's hometown and with the dream about her, Dean was feeling a little flustered inside. Still, he couldn't talk about her, so he wasn't about to talk to Sam about her…even though he was pretty sure he was going to run into Milly's family. There was definitely one thing that Dean knew he wasn't prepared for, and that was to deal with everyone that Milly left behind.

"Dean?" Sam asked him, wondering why his brother was spacing out.

Dean cleared his throat and smiled. "What is it that you think we're hunting?"

"I'm not sure yet, actually. I just know that there have been two unexplained deaths and they've been pretty brutal." Sam explained. "I wanna see if there's any EMF anywhere."

"Definitely a Sam kind of logical decision." Dean replied and stood up, grabbing his duffle. "I'll be ready to head out in ten."

Sam nodded and began to pack his own duffle, both Winchester boys heading out to the Impala and putting their things in it, Dean sitting in the driver's seat and taking a breath. Mostly he was playing his part to perfection thinking of this hunt like it was just another one, but as it started to sink in where he was going he started having some trouble putting the key into the ignition. When Sam said his name again, Dean just nodded and turned the engine over, getting the car out on the highway.

Dean knew he was starting to get fidgety and he didn't want Sam to ask questions, so he reached over and turned on the radio. Sam knew from that motion that Dean didn't want to talk, and so for a few hours Sam didn't ask his brother about his strange behavior, but when they stopped for gas, Sam couldn't hold the questions in, any longer. He just wanted to know what was up, and if what Dean was going through was going to compromise the hunt that they were going into.

"So who is she?" Sam asked his brother, jumping to the most logical conclusion.

Dean looked at his brother. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yeah…you can tell me you know." Sam said, trying to look his brother in the eye even though Dean was avoiding the eye contact.

"I'm just a little antsy about the hunt. We don't know what we're going after." Dean told him with a shrug.

Sam smiled a little. "We'll figure it out when we get there."

Dean nodded and then they got back into the car, and drove all the way to Cottonwood Falls without so much as another word to each other. When they stopped at the police station, Dean took a deep breath and then he paused at the door and realized he couldn't do this—Sam had a right to know some things. He didn't want to talk about it, but it was a small town and he and Sam couldn't lie about anything…they couldn't go about this hunt like all the others.

"Sam…they know me here." Dean said finally, stopping his brother's hand as Sam reached out for the door knob.

Sam gave his brother a look. "What?"

"Milly's father is the Chief of Police." Dean explained and Sam took his hand away from the door and turned to him.

"You have some explaining to do." Sam said, and then he headed for the Impala and with one last look at the station, Dean headed there too.

**Note: That is the intro! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	2. Initials From the Past

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Thank you to all of you supporting me!**

**Here is the next chapter.**

**The warnings still apply: Language, Sensuality, Sex, Violence, Dark Themes, Drugs.**

**ENJOY!!**

****

The moment that Dean headed to the Impala, a noise caught his attention and he looked across the street to see a familiar face looking at him. Dean would recognize Peter Bishop _anywhere_, and the man had run into a pole and dropped the box he was carrying, looking at Dean with fiery eyes. Peter had never been one of Dean's supporters when it came to his relationship with Milly—no matter how happy Dean had made Milly in the past.

"Dean?" Sam asked from the passenger seat, and then followed his brother's gaze to the sandy brown haired man across the street. "Do you know _him_ too?"

Dean nodded slowly and ran his hand down his face, breaking off eye contact with Peter and heading to the Impala, getting into the car and swallowing. He ran his fingers through his darker sandy brown hair and tried desperately to collect his thoughts as Peter picked up his box of things and headed to his house. Sam was worried about his brother but knew it would be better to talk to Dean at the motel, so they headed there and grabbed a room, Sam setting his duffle down and sitting on one of the beds.

"So…?" Sam asked him.

Dean opened his mouth to say something when he glanced at the wooden frame of the foot of the bed Sam had left for him, and suddenly he felt like maybe Sam was right when it came to fate—carved in the wood were his and Milly's initials. In the second month of their dating, Dean had brought her here to escape her family and they'd tried to hide away for a few days but it was a small town and eventually Grace found them. Actually, it kind of freaked Dean out that he had even _had_ a relationship that long…and now everything reminded him of her.

_Milly kissed Dean passionately, running her fingers along his scalp as they rocked their hips against each others, the pleasure growing. At first Milly hadn't wanted to cross over the boundaries of the physical relationship, but she and Dean were far too close now and he had told her everything. It had been only nine weeks of dating and flirting and Dean had spilled about his father, and his brother and his "job"—everything by now._

_In fact Dean had even come clean about all of the women he had been with in the past, and though at first it was a little daunting to Milly, four weeks into the relationship, she felt like she had to show Dean how she felt about him. She was completely infatuated with him, and he was so kind and caring towards her—especially with her headaches and her calls sometimes from the hospital simply telling him she couldn't make it. He was treating her like an actual human being and though she didn't have the heart to tell him she was dying, she __**did**__ have the will to become physically one with him._

_Now they were no strangers to the act and for some reason Dean felt closer to her than to any other woman he'd every known—he was pretty sure it was because of how honest he had been with her. On top of that, she had made him chase her, so he'd gotten to know her which was unusual since Dean kept himself to one-night stands and cheap floozies who didn't want anything from him. For Milly, she was just glad that Dean wanted to stick around, even though he had __**no**__ idea that she had cancer—he was with her because he __**wanted**__ to be._

"_Dean…" Milly breathed out from underneath him._

_Dean smiled at her as she pressed her damp forehead to his and opened her mouth a little, letting out a soft cry as her release hit her. She opened her eyes and looked into Dean's as he moved against her a little harder to reach his breaking point too. After a couple of hard thrusts, he released too, and then pulled out of her, breaking the intimate contact between them and smiling when she pressed her lips back to his._

"_Still amazing." Milly said, laughing a little as she tried to catch her breath._

_Dean chuckled. "Oh yeah? You sound like you thought maybe it'd get boring or something."_

"_We should celebrate the occasion." Milly told him and sat up with the sheet covering her chest, rummaging through Dean's open duffle on the floor and grabbing one of his favorite knives._

"_What are you doing?" Dean asked her, taking a couple deep breaths._

_Milly wrapped the sheet around her a little more and got off of the motel bed, carving into the foot of the bed and smiling softly. Dean looked at her fondly and smile stretched across his face, raising his eyebrows as she handed him the knife after a little while, and she laughed a little. He got up too and looked at the heart with her initials in it with a plus sign and for some reason he wasn't thinking it was cheesy. She was going out of her norm when it came to behaviors and he had to tease her even though he knew he was going to add his initials there._

"_This is kind of wrong, isn't it?" Dean asked her._

_Milly rolled her eyes. "You mean like breaking and entering, and desecrating graves, and impersonating officials? I think a little defacing public property is __**nice**__ compared to all of that, Dean."_

"_All right—you've convinced me." Dean said with a chuckle, and started to carve his initials too as she ran her fingers through his hair. "I think you're enabling my sick habit though, Mill."_

"_Oh well." Milly laughed and then she swallowed and stroked his hair a little more. "Hey, Dean? I love you."_

"Dean, are you going to be okay?" Sam asked, honestly concerned for his brother when he watched him zone out. "Something tells me we shouldn't be here."

Dean continued to look at the initials. "When Dad and I stopped talking to you, and you ran off to Stanford, I met Cassie, but you know that. She and I had a sorted past and yeah, I loved her and it was hard to see her after she had broken up with me. What you don't know is that after a huge slew of rebounds, I met Milly Bishop and I dated her for almost four months—not consecutively. We dated for about three months and then I did what I did best when I realized how deep I was in, but I kept in touch with her for a couple of years and then Lexi, her younger sister, called me and told me I had to come back. I showed up and Mill was in the hospital."

Dean trailed off as his voice started to break a little and he swallowed as Sam studied him and the way his voice sounded. Sam had seen his brother when he softened, and when he was trying hard to be strong, and he _knew_ that Dean had known true love and that love had been ripped away from him. Normally Dean would keep that stuff buried, but he was in this town and he was around her family and friends, and he couldn't keep it in anymore no matter how much he wanted to.

"Turns out in all of the truth-outs and the closeness she'd neglected to tell me that she had cancer…and that she was dying. Of course I didn't find out about the cancer until a week before she died, and Lexi has never forgiven me for not being there when she did, but I lost her. She's really the only woman I've ever gotten so close to and…being in this town just brings back a lot of memories, Sammy." Dean explained.

Sam nodded slowly. "I'm really sorry you had to go through that, Dean."

"Its fine, Sammy—I'm not the only Winchester who has lost a woman he loved." Dean told his brother, far too contemplative about Milly to realize what he had said out loud.

"We can get another hunter to do this hunt, Dean." Sam offered, and nodded when Dean shook his head. "All right, but I think it would do us both some good if we got some sleep and then worked on this in the morning."

Dean nodded and finally looked away from the carving, looking at Sam before he heard a knock on the door and looked at it instead. He took a deep breath and headed over to it, Sam standing to see what was going on. After a pause, another knock resounded and so Dean unlocked the door and opened it up, nodding slowly as he looked at the extremely annoyed brunette standing there.

"So you decided to show your face again, eh, Winchester?" She asked him, shaking her head slowly. "You better beat it before Lexi hears you're here. I can _not_ control that girls' angry lash out when she finds out that you came back after how you left."

Dean ran his hand down his face. "It's nice to see you too, Grace."

**Note: The flashbacks will keep coming and all the characters most important to the story will show up in the next chapter. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	3. He's Back

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Here is the next chapter and it introduces a lot of people.**

**It also takes place more in the Bishop POV, I guess you can say.**

**Sam and Dean are still in it and still very much important to the unfolding, but the family is coping to the news that Dean is back in town.**

**The warnings still apply: Language, Sensuality, Sex, Violence, Dark Themes, Drugs.**

**ENJOY!!**

****

"Sounds to me like you have more enemies here than friends." Sam told Dean as he looked at the face on the brunette change from annoyed to concerned.

Grace looked over at her. "I assume you're Sam?"

"You talked about me? I hope you said nice things." Sam said and then looked at Grace and nodded. "Yeah, I'm his younger brother, Sam."

"Well I think it's in your best interest—_both_ of yours—to simply head back out the way that you came." Grace explained, looking back at Dean.

Dean shook his head which made Grace groan. "I have business to take care of here."

"All right—tell me you're here to visit her grave." Grace ordered after a pause.

Dean gave her a shocked look. "No! I am _not_ here to—"

"—Dean Winchester, _tell_ me you are here _visiting her grave_!" Grace repeated more forcefully and Sam realized he respected her more and more each time she opened her mouth to speak.

Dean knew what Grace was trying to do for him but he didn't want her 'help'—he didn't want it at all. There was no way he was stepping foot in that cemetery no matter how much Grace annoyed him about…no matter how happy that would make Lexi and the rest of the Bishop family. He just couldn't bear the thought of going to Milly's grave, when he couldn't even stick around long enough to help her family through her death—when he couldn't stick around to watch her die.

Dean took a breath and tried again in a calmer voice. "Grace, I'm not—"

"—just say it, Dean!" Grace yelled and Sam took a step back at the authority and pain in her voice that caused Dean to swallow.

"I…I'm here to visit her grave." Dean replied, and then he hurried out of the motel room to take a deep breath and collect himself.

Sam smiled sadly. "Where'd you learn to boss him around like that?"

"Milly." Grace answered and smiled a little at the respect in Sam's voice for her. "I'm sorry your first impression of me is like this. I just…the Bishops are like my family and though none of them blame Dean for Mill's death, they're still a little weary of him. Well…actually _Peter_ blames Dean for her death but Lexi is really just more upset he wouldn't face her in the hospital at the end—her parents are really the most understanding about it."

"So…they were really in love, weren't they?" Sam asked Grace cautiously.

Grace nodded slowly and then smiled sadly and told Sam that maybe she'd see him later, going straight to see Lexi because she knew that the minute Peter told Lexi about it all, Lexi was going to be on the war path about it all. Peter had first come to see Grace because the box of things he had dropped before had been hers, and the second he blew up about Dean having the _audacity_ to be back, Grace knew where he would be. Now she just had to cushion the blow of everything for Lexi, because Lexi had half the mind to rip Dean and new one and she certainly would.

So Lexi went to Lexi's and Lexi opened the door, letting her in and Grace sighed—the look on her face meant that she knew. Grace set her purse down on the couch and then put her hands in her pockets, looking at Lexi as Lexi took a few breaths and tried to collect all of her thoughts. She wanted to talk to Dean, and yet talking to Dean meant handing over the box and Lexi wasn't sure she _wanted_ Dean to have the box when no one knew what was _in_ the box.

"Where is he?" Lexi asked.

Grace sighed. "Are you going to kill him?"

"No." Lexi replied honestly and then closed her eyes. "I have something for him though."

"What?" Grace asked.

Lexi opened her eyes and looked at Grace. "I have a box of things that Milly left for him—like how she left things for all of us? Dean was part of that, and I just…at the same time I don't want to talk to him."

"You know it's not his fault." Grace told her.

"I know, I know." Lexi replied with a nod, and then she shrugged a little. "I should talk to him before Peter finds out where he is though. Peter will kill him."

Grace sighed loudly. "Dean didn't kill her. Milly wanted to be alive because her clock was ticking down and she was dying. Peter can't be upset that she found love."

"No…but he _can_ be upset that Dean kept having her do things that required so much energy." Lexi countered and then sighed. "Then again the sex isn't what did her in, and just because he took her places doesn't mean he did her in—I don't blame him…I just get that Peter is upset that he couldn't protect one of his little sisters."

_Milly knew the second that Peter walked into her room that something was up and she just smiled at her big brother and sat up in her bed, setting her book aside. When Peter had that 'business' look on his face, it was best to heed to it and the talk that was coming was inevitable. Their father had brought up some things with her the day before, and now Peter felt like it was __**his**__ turn to be protective and Milly wasn't about to take that right away from him._

"_Mill?" Peter asked her._

_Milly smiled at him. "Yeah, Pete?"_

"_I don't want to beat around the bush, so I'll just come out and say it: I don't think you should be hanging out with Dean anymore." Peter told her in a breath._

"_If this is about the car accident, I'm fine and that wasn't __**his**__ fault it was the other driver's and if you remember correctly, Dean gave me his blood." Milly pointed out._

_Peter took a deep breath and hung his head a bit as Lexi made it to her sister's doorway and listened with perked up ears to the conversation. She knew that out of the entire family, Peter was really the one that was the most set against Dean's and Milly's budding relationship. Lexi actually didn't mind him—he made Milly happy, and that was all that mattered as far as she was concerned…even if part of her __**was**__ worried about her sister putting herself in dangerous activities when she should have been conserving her energy._

"_Mill, you shouldn't be exerting yourself, and you know it." Peter tried._

_Milly nodded and smiled as he sat on the end of her bed and reached out to take her hands. She loved that he cared so much about her, but she didn't want to just sit around and do nothing—she actually __**wanted**__ to spend time with Dean and she'd meet death when it came. For now her job was to convince her brother that she wasn't fragile—that she was perfectly all right to be out in the real world experiencing life._

"_Pete, Dean protects me…he __**loves**__ me. Surely you're not asking me to give that up. I may be dying, but I deserve love and companionship as much as anyone else." Milly explained, kissing her brother's hands. "Promise me you'll be nice to him, all right? That's all I'm asking of you."_

_Peter took a deep breath. "Mill, I'm just worried about you. I want you to take it a little easier."_

"_Pete, I'm being careful, don't worry about it." Milly told him and looked up to smile at Lexi. "What's __**your**__ two cents, Lex?"_

"_I…" Lexi began, and then she took a deep breath and joined her brother at the end of the bed, smiling at Milly lovingly. "If he makes you happy, then he should stick around—I __**do**__, however, agree with Pete a bit: take it easy, Mill."_

_Milly nodded at her. "I promise."_

_Then she told her siblings that she was fine and when they left the room she ran her fingers through her hair and took a deep breath, trying to get the dizziness to go away. There was absolutely __**nothing**__ that would convince her that giving up Dean was an option of any kind, but at the same time if she didn't take it a little easier then she'd end up in the hospital and she didn't want Dean to know. Eventually he'd leave and return to being the hero she knew he was, and she couldn't be in the way of that—she couldn't have him stick around to watch her die._

"_Speak of the devil." She said happily, and picked up her phone, flipping it open and smiling. "Hey, Dean."_

"I think it's best that we just take him the box and get him to leave." Grace told Lexi with a shrug. "Give him the box, let him visit her grave, and then he can be on his merry way."

Lexi looked at Grace, surprised. "He…he said he came to visit her grave?"

"He did say that." Grace answered with a nod, since it wasn't a _complete_ lie. "He loved her, no matter what anyone else thinks, and he deserves to get to talk to her."

"Yeah, you're right…let's take him the box." Lexi nodded affirmatively and then went to get it from her bedroom closet, carrying it back into the living room and smiling at Grace. "I hope she didn't put the baby stuff in it."

Grace frowned a little. "So do I."

**Note: There is that chapter and it raises even more questions that I promise will be answered. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	4. Milly's Big Secret

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay so the whole story kind of has a mystery element to it, and part of it **_**may**_** get a little confusing.**

**I will answer all the questions though.**

**The warnings still apply: Language, Sensuality, Sex, Violence, Dark Themes, Drugs.**

**ENJOY!!**

****

Sam still wasn't getting much out of Dean, and he kind of wished there was something he could do about it, but Dean had shut down on the subject. He didn't want to have anything to do with the rest of Milly's family and/or acquaintances, and so he simply wanted to get in and get out as far as the hunt was concerned. It was getting towards nightfall, and Sam was researching from his motel bed, looking up as another knock resounded.

Dean heaved a heavy sigh and continued to sit on his bed, ignoring the knocks until Grace's voice could be heard through it. She knew he was in there and when Dean heard Lexi add her voice with that annoyance and pain she'd used on the phone with him when he had skipped town, Dean got up and crossed to the door. He unlocked it and opened it up, staring at the two and then his eyes wandered to the box in Lexi's arms and she sighed a little bit.

"Yeah, I come bearing gifts." Lexi told him, Grace's hands in her pockets.

Dean nodded and opened the door a little wider for them. "You want to yell at me or something?"

"Yeah, but…but you need to have this box." Lexi replied, handing it out to him as she and Grace continued to stand out in the hall. "It's not ours, it's yours."

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked her, a confused look spreading across his face.

Lexi took a deep breath. "Milly left it to you in her will."

"No one was allowed to open it and see what was in it, and so Lexi has had it in the back of her closet for quite some time now. Since you're here…you need to have it." Grace told him softly.

Dean started to shake his head in protest about how he didn't _want_ to have any more painful reminders of her, but if he did that then Lexi would jump down his throat in a second. Besides, Lexi had already thrust the box at him and waltzed right into the motel room, followed behind by Grace who smiled at Dean and shrugged her shoulders. Sam sat up a little straighter the moment the two walked into the room and then smiled awkwardly when Dean closed the door slowly and Lexi pointed at him.

"You must be Sam. Well, Grace, you were right—he's the attractive one." Lexi said with a smile.

Grace blushed and nudged her before looking at Dean. "So are you going to open up the box or not?"

"Um…no." Dean replied, setting the box on his bed and taking a deep breath. "I don't think I can."

"Dean Winchester, I have been waiting for like five _years_ to see what was in the Goddamn box and I want to know!" Lexi exclaimed. "It's the least you can do for not sticking around until the end."

Dean whirled on her. "Are you _honestly_ going to _keep_ throwing that in my face?!"

"Yes!" Lexi yelled, her voice cracking a little. "Yes, because she _needed_ you there at the end and you weren't there for her! You left her alone and she still held out for you even when you were gone! All that time you left her back here and you never took responsibility for anything, Dean! For _anything_!"

"Lexi, _don't_ push me!" Dean thundered, stepping towards her.

Grace and Sam both stepped in to make sure that neither Lexi nor Dean started anything with each other, and then Dean growled and headed out of the motel room. He really wasn't sure he could do this, so he went to the vending machine and took a couple of deep breaths, grabbing a candy bar and going back to the room, not pleased that Lexi and Grace were still there. They wanted to know what was in the box, and though Dean's curiosity was getting the best of him too, it was Sam's look his way that made him decide to give into it all.

"You really want me to open the box?" Dean asked Lexi, who slowly put her arms over her chest and nodded, Dean nodding too. "Fine…I'll open it up."

"Good." Lexi told him, and then she sighed.

She was sorry for her behavior, but at the same time it was eating away at her—there were last words from her big sister that she hadn't heard yet. Just the fact that Milly had left Dean a whole box of things to himself, showed the entire Bishop family just how much Dean meant to her. Now, Dean was going to have to be reminded of Milly by things that potentially smelt like her, and so he took a deep breath and opened up the box.

On the very top was a DVD with a sticky-note on it that told him to stop and put it in, so he followed the directions, a couple of journals underneath it. At first he wasn't really happy about it—especially when the t-shirted chest of the brunette Dean had fallen so madly in love with, pulled away and she sat in the chair that was in view, smiling into the camera. Dean swallowed the lump down in his throat when he recognized the t-shirt as one of his old ones, which made it even more painful for him to watch.

"Hey, Baby." Milly said, with a smile on her face to hide how tired she was feeling. "If you're watching this, then I am already gone and you've followed the sticky-note. I wanted you to understand how much I love and miss you, and at the end of this, is a little surprise I think you'll enjoy—and no it doesn't involve me stripping for you, sorry."

Dean couldn't help but chuckle a little as Lexi shifted uncomfortably. "That's my girl."

"No doubt you just whispered something endearing, and I love you for that. Now, I would like for you to open up the first journal and look at it carefully. There are only two in there—I left my other journals to Lexi. These two are most important to me and they have absolutely _everything_ to do with you." Milly explained and smiled a little, lowering her head and then looking up again. "The first journal is everything we did together. When you went to the barber shop with me so I could get bangs—well my hair is in there. And please, Dean—don't burn it. I'm not a vengeful sp—"

Dean hurriedly paused the DVD and then looked at Grace and Lexi who looked a little confused, and at the same time they were annoyed about Dean stopping the DVD. Sam smiled awkwardly and then stood up, Dean standing up as well and trying hard to figure out how to get Grace and Lexi out. For once in his life, Dean couldn't come up with a good lie right on the spot, but when Grace started to ask what he was doing, Dean cut her off and hoped for the best.

"I would like to watch this on my own." Dean told them with a shrug. "It's hard enough as it is, and she did this for me…not for you two."

Lexi nodded slowly. "I know that, but—"

"—you can watch it after I have." Dean tried, and though it was a rather empty promise, Lexi actually nodded and then she and Grace got up and left the motel room.

"So…she really knew _every_ secret you had, didn't she?" Sam asked him.

Dean nodded at his brother. "Yeah…she really did."

_Milly took a deep breath and Dean ran his hand down his face, surprised to see her back in the motel room after two whole days of ignoring him, and he wasn't about to blow it. She was the only woman he had __**ever**__ said the 'love' word too, and if she was about to leave him he wasn't sure he could deal with that. Now all he could do was wait until she talked to him and pray that she was going to accept him…__**pray**__ she wouldn't dump him like Cassie had._

"_It has taken me two days to figure out if you're crazy or not." Milly told him and held her hand up and shook her head when he opened his mouth to speak. "The jury has returned and I love you too."_

_Dean gaped at her. "What?"_

"_You told me that you only told me all about what you did because you loved me. Then I freaked and started to leave and you were all, 'I just told you that I loved you' and…and damn-it, Dean, I love you too." Milly told him, throwing her hands up in the air and then glaring at him when Dean tried to speak again. "I believe you because I have no reason not to trust you, and if you really love me—which I believe you do—you wouldn't lie to me so it has to be the truth."_

"_Baby, can I kiss you now?" Dean asked her, laughing and little and then sighing when she held her authoritative hand up again._

_Milly took another breath. "Dean, I know this is a huge secret and I want you to know that I'm going to keep it. You're so honest with me, and you trust me, and I just—"_

_Dean cut her off with a kiss, and though at first she was upset because she still had a whole speech planned, she gave in and wrapped her arms around his neck. She just wanted Dean, and she wished that she was going to be around forever to actually try and make something substantial work with him. Now that she knew what she knew though, there was absolutely no way in the world that she could just keep him all to herself—the world needed him._

"_Baby, what are you doing?" Milly asked him with a soft laugh as he started to lift up her shirt._

_Dean smiled at her and stroked her hair, looking her in the eye. "I'm stripping you of restrictions."_

"_You are __**so**__ lucky I love you." Milly replied, and kissed him playfully before she started to help Dean out of his clothes too, ignoring her headache._

Dean shook the thoughts away and then looked at the TV, Milly's soft smile paused, and he decided to resume it. It was hard for him, but this is what she wanted, and he was going to respect the wishes of the dead—he was going to respect the woman that he loved. No matter what kind of state it rendered him in, he was going to finish the DVD.

"—irit. So just calm down and cherish it. Now it has pictures of us, and lots of pictures of me, and some I took of you while you slept because you seem to have some sort of camera phobia—which just makes you more loveable." Milly said with a smile, and then she paused and it looked like she was getting a little sad. "Basically it's a scrapbook of our time together…all of it. Then there is this shirt I'm currently wearing—I promise it smells like coffee and vanilla—you said it was one of your favorite things about me, so that's how you get to remember me. And under that…under that is something that's hard for me to talk about and I don't think you're going to take it well."

Dean nodded as he moved the shirt and saw the baby scrapbook. "What…?"

"Do you remember when you came back for that couple of weeks and I kind of kept initiating all the sex and the getting out to actually _do_ things? Before you went out of contact because of hunting for almost five months? Well my whole family was really worried about me and about how I was deteriorating and then…then I found out I was pregnant—that _we _were pregnant. I was planning on telling you but your phone was disconnected and by the time you got in contact with me…I'd lost it." Milly explained and Dean had to stop the DVD as her face saddened.

He couldn't watch anymore if she was going to cry, and Sam wasn't sure what he could do now that he knew more about Milly's and Dean's past. Milly had been pregnant and she had miscarried because she was so deathly ill. Now she wanted Dean to understand and Sam could have sworn that Dean was started to well up—that Dean of all people was starting to cry. She had meant so much to him and having to know this too was a blow he couldn't handle and when yet _another_ knock on the door happened, Dean ripped it open angrily. To his and Sam's utter surprise, Peter's fist made contact with Dean's face, and Dean went stumbling back, falling on the floor hard.

**Note: So Dean got the box and shifted through things and now Peter is there? Ouch…Feedback is always appreciated!**


	5. Innocence Lost

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I want to take the time to thank all of my readers!**

**I appreciate you all more than you know!**

**Standard warnings apply for this chapter: Language, Sensuality, Sex, Violence, Dark Themes, Drugs.**

**ENJOY!!**

****

Lexi was definitely upset about getting kicked out of the motel room, but at the same time she had a little respect for Dean for wanting to watch the video on his own. Milly had left _Dean_ the box of things and though Lexi wanted to hear what he sister had to say to Dean, she had to respect Dean's wishes. It kind of warmed her heart to know that after all of this time, Dean was still in love with Milly—that he still respected her and that her death still hurt him.

"Pete?" Lexi called when she got into the house.

She had let Grace go off and do whatever it was that Grace had actually wanted to do—Grace hadn't been too specific on the subject. All Lexi knew was that even just the little bit of the DVD that they had seen, had dug up some old, dormant feelings and Grace wanted to handle hers on her own. Besides, Lexi needed to see how Peter was doing because it was a small town and by now Peter had to have figured out where Dean was staying and Lexi didn't want him interrupted while he was watching the DVD Milly had left for him.

"Pete? You back from the garage yet?" Lexi asked, knocking on his bedroom door once she had ascended the stair case.

Lexi knocked one more time and then slowly opened the door, sighing loudly when she saw that Peter was no where to be seen. At first she let herself believe that Peter had just not gotten home from the garage yet, but part of her knew _exactly_ where he was—he'd left the garage to go straight to Dean. Peter hadn't wanted to miss this chance to have it all out with him, and so he'd gotten off of work early, headed to the motel, gotten told the motel room number, and was now breathing heavily and staring down at Dean in disdain as Sam got up from the motel bed and Peter's knuckles throbbed a little.

"What the Hell?!" Sam asked, looking at Dean and then at Peter. "You can't just barge in here and start punching people!"

Peter's eyes flashed. "You stay out of this! It has _nothing_ to do with you!"

"But—" Sam tried.

"—Sammy, stay out of it!" Dean told him firmly from the ground.

Sam wasn't very happy about being told to stay out of all of it, but he did as he was told and sat back on his motel bed. He knew that if Peter tried to beat the shit out of his brother that he'd stop him from doing so, but if they needed to have a pissing contest, than so be it. Besides, it was a way at least for Sam to find out a little bit more about what was going on around her in the first place—it was a chance for Sam to find out who this guy was exactly.

"I can't believe you showed your face again!" Peter thundered.

Dean nodded from his spot on the ground. "What can I say, Pete? I'm a masochist."

"You showed your face after _all_ of this time…after you _killed_ her!" Peter roared at Dean, his eyes starting to well up with tears.

"I DID _NOT_ KILL, MILL!" Dean practically screamed, slowly getting himself up off of the floor. "I _LOVED_ HER!"

Peter nodded and then scoffed as Dean stood. "Yeah, you loved her all right. You showed up with your terrible pick-up lines, and your need for physical companionship, and once you were bored with her, you left. You left her a little over a year and a half and showed back up for a fling, leaving her pregnant."

"I didn't—" Dean began.

"—you took my little sister's innocence and you left her with a baby! Without that baby she would have lasted a Hell of a lot longer!" Peter continued, shaking his head and then gritting his teeth. "You should have stayed gone, Winchester."

Dean nodded slowly as a few tears of his own came and he tried to piece together what to say next. He hadn't been told about the baby until a few minutes ago on a DVD that Milly had made for him before she died and Peter blamed him for everything. Actually, part of Dean felt like it was completely his fault—he never once backed away from the opportunity to be with Milly sexually, and had he known she had cancer, things would have been different…and he wouldn't have _ever_ potentially harmed her by impregnating her…he never would have let things get this deep with her.

"You know what, Peter? I _wanted_ to stay gone after she died! For your information, I never even _knew_ about the baby, and I didn't know she had cancer until I came back! Do you really think I'm the monster you're making me out to be?" Dean asked him.

Peter swallowed. "All those dizzy spells? All the headaches? The way she almost crashed those two times you gave her blood? You never _once_ put together that you were spending time with a rather fragile girl? You are so blind, Winchester. You know what, I don't give a shit what you knew and what you didn't know—get the fuck out of town and don't come back."

"I can't go just—" Dean started to protest.

"—I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT OF TOWN!" Peter yelled furiously. "I HAD TO WATCH MY SISTER DIE WHILE YOU SKIPPED TOWN LIKE A COWARD! I HAD TO SIT THERE WITH MOM AND TELL HER THAT EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT WHILE DAD TRIED NOT TO LOSE IT IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM! LEXI WAS BESIDE HERSELF, TRYING TO GET A HOLD OF YOU, AND GRACE WAS TRYING TO KEEP EVERYONE TOGETHER! YOU ARE A _COWARD_, DEAN WINCHESTER, AND I DON'T WANT YOU _ANYWHERE_ NEAR THE REST OF MY FAMILY! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!"

The danger in Peter's voice was enough to make even Sam cower a little, and Dean nodded, wiping the blood off of his lip as Peter turned around and left the motel room, slamming the door behind him. All he could think about every time he thought about Dean was how much Dean had cost his sister. He knew that Milly deserved to love and to be loved in return, and Peter regretted everyday that went by the fight he'd had with his sister about the baby that he loved and yet hated…the baby that cause Milly's downward spiral to death…the baby that Dean had put there.

"_Peter go away!" Milly called through her bedroom door, sighing and closing her eyes when instead Peter walked right into her room. "Coming in, is the __**opposite**__ of going away."_

_Peter looked at his sister firmly. "Mill, this isn't like when you locked yourself in the bathroom when you were taking the pregnancy test and only let Lex in—you __**heard**__ what the doctor said and you're choosing to ignore it!"_

"_Pete, this is __**my**__ choice! __**Mine**__! I am __**not**__ giving up this baby!" Milly told him and she knew she was starting to raise her voice as the tears came._

"_Mill, this baby is __**killing**__ you! You're body is having enough trouble as it is trying to take care of itself! A baby is just making it worse!" Peter tried._

_Milly shook her head because she refused to believe that—she never would have gotten pregnant if there wasn't a reason behind it. She had all of her faith in God and in God's plans for her and se wasn't about to have an abortion. Besides, it was Dean's baby too, and as soon as he called her to let her know he was all right she'd tell him about it and then he would get to have part in the decision of what to do—even though Milly had already made up her mind and she was keeping it._

"_This isn't just __**my**__ baby, Pete! You know, you're the __**only**__ one who is so adamant about me getting rid of it?! Mom and Dad said it was __**my**__ choice, and you are so set against this baby that Lex won't even __**try**__ to put her two cents in! Just stop it!" Milly yelled, her voice breaking as the frustrated tears assaulted her and she wiped them away. "I'm not going to __**murder**__ my baby!"_

_Peter ran his hands through his hair exasperatedly. "Milly! Stop being so goddamn selfish! The faster you die, the faster the rest of us have to live without you! Do you __**really**__ want to do that to us? I can't lose you like this! If continuing with this pregnancy means that Mom, Dad, Grace, Lexi and I have to lose you even faster to the cancer…then we're ending this pregnancy just like the doctor suggested."_

"_No." Milly told him firmly, her voice full of anger and pain. "No."_

Peter wiped the fallen tear away as he got into his car, and he turned the engine over as Dean started to pack his duffle and then he paused. Dean turned back to the television and turned it back on, pressing 'play' because there was no more harm in figuring the rest of it out. He and Milly were once going to be parents, and though he hadn't known, he had wished that in all of this he had a son or daughter of theirs to come back to, and that was never going to happen.

Milly bit her lip and swallowed. "I don't even know how you're feeling right now about something as big as this being laid upon you, but I just couldn't leave this world and not somehow let you know. That baby was just as much yours as it was mine, and I feel bad enough for the secret I kept from you about my _having_ cancer in the first place. You can read the journals whenever you feel like it—you don't even have to really keep the pair of booties or the two onesies or the package of binkies. I didn't really shop much even at four months, and Pete refused to have anything to do with it all, and Lexi didn't want to pick sides. It was just kind of me, not wanting to let the baby go because it was _our_ baby and I finally had a piece of you with me always, you know? Six months after I miscarried…that's when Lexi called you. Turns out carrying the baby was as bad for me as Pete and the doctor kept telling me it was—a little over four months in I collapsed and in order to save me they had to give me some drugs, and do some surgery, and the baby didn't make it. I was too weak to protect it and I'm sorry. Baby, I'm so sorry for every terrible thing that I put you through."

"No, Baby, _I'm_ sorry." Dean whispered through some tears, stopping the DVD again even though it wasn't done. "I need to take a walk."

"I understand, Dean—take your time." Sam replied, and sadly watched his brother leave the motel room.

Dean wasn't the only one who had needed to take a walk either—Grace had needed to be as far away from the motel room as she could get, so she had headed to the local watering hole. She and Milly had spent plenty a day and night there, and it was kind of pleasant to be there and feel like Milly was there too watching over her without forcing any of the past down her throat. That was just the thing though…every time she showed up, Grace always felt like Milly was right there with her.

She knew she was crazy to even _think_ that Milly was there, but at the same time it wouldn't be the first time Grace had seen Milly since Milly had died. Albeit most of those times Grace had simply been dreaming, but there were times when she was awake and she had clearly seen Milly standing just a ways off, and then she was gone just like that. Grace sighed loudly and tried to shake the feelings away as she stood up, but then she saw her—standing on the other side of the water just watching her…just watching over her like a guardian angel.

"Milly?" Grace managed to get out.

The clearly corporeal figure that looked like Milly Bishop just smiled a little and Grace felt safe…and yet she felt scared. Milly was dead, and seeing her walking around—or standing around—places was definitely not something that _sane_ people experienced. At the same time, Grace was more than willing to admit that she was still traumatized about losing her best friend and that could account for her seeing things that she knew she shouldn't _actually_ be seeing.

"Milly, I miss you." Grace said aloud.

Then with one smile at what she was deciding was a figment of her imagination, Grace turned to head off, just as Dean made it to the graveyard, and swallowed. He wasn't sure whether or not he could go in, but if he was indeed heading out of town now, he knew that there was no way he could leave without visiting Milly's grave. Dean could get another hunter to cover the case he and Sam had come into town for, and he had hoped he would have had more time to get up the courage to come, but it was now or never…he _had_ to talk to her…

**Note: And that is chapter five—I'm popping them all out pretty quick because I'm sick and have nothing better to do but feed my creativity and inspiration. There is more to come, and more questions to get asked, and more questions to get answered. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	6. More Secrets Come Out

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Thank you so much to all of you!**

**I appreciate all of the feedback and support!**

**Standard warnings apply: Language, Sensuality, Sex, Violence, Dark Themes, Drugs.**

**ENJOY!!**

****

Sam was kind of getting fed up just like Dean was about the continual knocking on the door, but he opened it, and to his surprise, Grace was standing there. He let her in and she smiled and thanked him, taking a deep breath and then looking at the ground before looking up at Sam. It was obvious that she had something to say to him, but she wasn't quite sure how to say, so she just held up one of Milly's old journals and decided it was then or never—she had to ask.

"Is this really true?" Grace asked him, and continued when Sam raised his eyebrows because he had _no_ idea what it was that she was talking about. "When Milly died she left me this journal and in it, it mentions that you and your brother are hunters. She said it was this huge secret and she explained everything about it, and then left notes for me telling me I couldn't _ever_ tell anyone else. Milly has _no_ reasons to lie to me, and though at first I thought she was a little crazy and Dean was a liar, the Supernatural makes sense to me. I'd like to believe its true…I'd like to believe that you can help me."

Sam's mouth gaped a little. "Um…hold on, I need to process."

"Take your time." Grace replied, smiling at him. "I know it was a lot to dump on you…I've kind of been stewing with it for years. It explains why Dean was always gone and why Milly clung on, and the things about psychics that she found out on her own described me—I've always felt different."

"What do you mean: things about psychics?" Sam asked her suddenly, done processing that she knew he was a hunter and now trying to piece together how Milly could have known about psychics when she had died before he and Dean had found out about them and Milly _wasn't_ a hunter.

Grace nodded slowly. "One of them came to her doorstep about eight months after Dean left. He was talking about Azazel, and about his plan for psychics, and how he had been sent to find me. Of course Jackson had him arrested when he started to stalk me—Jackson is Milly's Dad, fyi—and I just…I keep seeing her. Is she? Is she a ghost or something, maybe?"

Sam stood there trying to piece it all together and then had Grace start all over again as Dean made it to Milly's headstone and stood perfectly still. He looked at the writing etched into the marble and felt the lump form in his throat: _Loving Daughter, Loving Sister_. She had left everyone who had ever loved her behind, and talking to her like this was reminding him of the day that he had come back into Cottonwood Falls after Lexi had called him.

He had come back as soon as Lexi had explained to him that Milly was in the hospital and when he'd made it there, nothing was the same. Now he was back once again and there was nothing that Dean wanted more than to have Milly talk back to him. He _hated_ feeling like he was so helpless, but he had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that he just couldn't do anything right then.

Milly was dead, and she could no longer help Dean through his problems, or run her fingers through his hair to calm him down. She couldn't simply tell him things were going to be how they were going to be with that calm, smooth voice of hers that made him feel like everything was going to be just fine. Mostly, she wasn't there to cushion Dean from her family anymore and so he was going to have to deal with him like he had to when she was unconscious.

_Dean had thought that talking to Milly while she was unconscious was going to be easy, but it was far from it. Lexi had practically had to __**drag**__ Peter from the room to let Dean be alone with Milly, and Dean couldn't stand to see her hooked up to the machines. Still, she was alive, so she could possibly hear him—her brain was still active so he had to try since he had been gone for so long and she had held out for him._

"_You know even unconscious with an IV in your arm, you're still the prettiest girl I know." Dean told her, smiling at her. "I think your brother thinks I'm going to rape you or something."_

_Dean knew that had she been awake Milly would have laughed with him and told him to go ahead since it would be consented, but she wasn't awake. The fact of the matter was that Lexi had called her because they were losing her. They'd been worried about her deteriorating for months but this was it…these were her last moments and Dean was actually out of words._

"_I wish I wasn't in such a rift with your brother, Mill, I do. He and I have never gotten along and I doubt this is going to make it any better." Dean told her softly, nodding and then starting to lose it. "I love you."_

_Dean ran his hand along Milly's arm and kissed her hand, nuzzling it with his nose and faintly smelling vanilla through the hospital smell. As clean as she was, Grace knew Milly hated having her hands dry, and her lotion smelled like vanilla. Sadly, the coffee smell had worn off already, and Dean wanted it back—he wanted __**her**__ back. How could she die like this? How could she leave him alone? Why did she lie to him?_

"_I wish you had told me." Dean told her softly, leaning in to kiss her lips softly. "I still love you…__**so**__ much…but I wish you hadn't lied…"_

Dean ran his hand down his face and stared at the tombstone as the lump grew in his throat, and his 'hello' was choked out. He took a minute to compose himself while Grace ran her fingers through her hair, her head lowered because she was trying to piece together everything that Sam had just explained to her. Why did he have to be so honest? Why did he have to tell her all of these things?

"So…the world is ending?" Grace asked him, trying to figure out how they had gotten there at all.

She had simply waltzed into the motel room hoping Sam could solve the mystery of the Milly that she had been seeing and he had told her so much more. Her first gut feeling had been to call him he was crazy and then storm out, but he was trying to warn her what psychic potential _could_ turn into. It was one thing to know she was psychic and to share that with a complete stranger, but to have that stranger know _exactly_ what it was that she was going through?

Part of her was overwhelmed, and disgusting about learning about demon blood and how Sam had consumed it, but the fact that he was _also_ letting in a complete stranger? Part of her felt flattered that he trusted her so much, and she was genuinely grateful to know what to stray away from and what to be careful about. She didn't want powers anyway…but now she felt bonded to Sam and she didn't know what to do about it. It wasn't romantic…it was just unfaltering trust.

"I'm sorry, Grace—I really shouldn't have laid this all on you." Sam told her, smiling sadly at her and shoving his hands in his pockets. "I shouldn't have dragged you into it all. I should have just answered your question and then—"

"—Sam, it's fine…really. Now I know that Milly could potentially be a spirit you guys need to get rid of, and on top of it all, I need to get some of my goals reached before the world is engulfed in an angel/demon battle—angels of which I was pretty sure existed." Grace said with a smile. "In fact, Milly had a guardian angel. Of course Lexi and I never saw him, but Milly talked about him a lot towards the end."

Sam nodded slowly and took a breath. "Grace?"

"What do you want to ask, Sam?" Grace asked him with a small, friendly laugh.

Sam took another breath and smiled at her, surprised that someone who didn't know him at all, could know him so well. He was curious about this whole 'guardian angel' thing, but he had to ask it the right way so he wouldn't freak Grace out. He hadn't intended on telling her everything, but she was amazingly receptive, and Sam needed to vent. Sam needed to vent, and he knew he couldn't vent to Dean because Dean had _far_ too much on his plate—Dean had his _own_ problems to deal with, and his own feelings to confront.

"Milly, I'm scared." Dean told her grave slowly. "I shouldn't be back here."

He smiled fondly at the gravestone and nodded slowly, knowing deep down that Milly Bishop could _not_ talk back to him. Part of him wished that he could just get out now while he could, but the other part knew that he owed her so much and that if he didn't talk to her grave, he was spitting on her memory. Dean needed to do this, and though it was proving far more difficult for him than he had originally thought it would be, he was going to make it through this—he knew he could do that.

"Peter punched me in the face." Dean told her, deciding to focus on more humorous things. "I mean I _knew_ that the guy hated me, but come on, it's my pretty face." Dean laughed a little and then he swallowed. "I can't believe you left a DVD for me to watch, Mill. It was kind of my undoing—I can't even finish watching it. More than that, I'm starting to think that Peter was right."

Dean hadn't wanted to admit it out loud, but he was feeling like Peter had a very solid point—Dean had made Milly do far too much. If he hadn't been so selfish, and if he hadn't had so many physical needs for Milly to fulfill, he never would have been able to impregnate her. He never would have been the reason why Milly had gotten so sick and ended up dying…how could he forgive himself for that?

"Baby, I'm sorry." Dean said, the words coming out choked again. "I'm sorry that I did this to you—I'm sorry that I weakened you, and that I couldn't stand around and face you before the end. I just…I couldn't watch you die, Mill."

"I didn't _want_ you to watch me die." Milly replied softly.

Dean turned around slowly at the familiar, beautiful voice and he took a deep breath…standing there before him was Milly Bishop…and she looked like flesh and bone…

**Note: I know, I know—this one is QUITE the cliffy. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	7. Bittersweet Reunions

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**It was a mean cliffy, but have no fear because the next chapter is here!**

**Except Dean to act Deanish, and I have had the Milly story line planned since I started this story so I hope you like it.**

**Warnings: Language, Sensuality, Sex, Violence, Dark Themes, Drugs.**

**ENJOY!!**

****

"Back up, back up, back up." Sam told Grace, wrapping his head around the story he'd just heard coming out of her mouth. "Castiel is the name of the angel she talked about?"

Grace nodded slowly and looked confused. "Is that name significant or something?"

"This isn't all just some random happenstance!" Sam exclaimed, standing up from his motel bed and starting to pace. "I mean a trail led her like it was a hunt, all the way to where Dean met some girl years ago and he fell for her, and she just _happened_ to have a guardian angel who is the same one that dragged Dean out of Hell!"

"Dean was in Hell?!" Grace asked Sam suddenly, getting to her feet herself. "You left that part out!"

Sam looked at her. "Grace, do you have an idea as to where Dean might have gone?"

"Um…he and Milly used to hang out in the big park down the way…and here." Grace explained and then she swallowed. "What made him go for a walk?"

"Peter came and ordered him out of town." Sam explained.

Grace nodded slowly and took a deep breath—she didn't presume to know Dean completely, but she had been around him enough in the past to know that when Peter got on his case, he went to talk to Milly about it. The only place Dean could do that now was the cemetery, so that was where Dean was most likely to be. Unfortunately, Grace didn't want to get in the way of Dean and him actually talking to her grave, so she was hesitant to tell Sam where Dean was…hesitant, but aware this was far more important.

Sam looked at Grace as her facial expressions changed. "What is it, Grace?"

"It's…Dean's in the cemetery." Grace told him with a small sigh. "Every time Peter got on Dean's case, he talked to Milly about it and that's the only place now that he can talk to her. Part of me didn't want to tell you because I want him to get to talk to her, but on the other hand this seems important."

"It _is_ pretty important but…Dean doesn't really talk to the dead so…maybe we could wait like ten minutes and _then_ go and find him." Sam offered with a shrug and a small smile.

Grace nodded and the two of them smiled at each other a little as Dean swallowed the lump in his throat and then sprung into action. Milly just smiled at him and nodded as he pulled his silver knife out, holding out her hand to him. She knew he was skeptical, and she knew he was going to need some time to adjust to this, and she needed time to explain everything to him.

"Go ahead. Salt. Holy Water. Silver—try it all." Milly told him with a smile, and stepped towards him. "I actually have some on me. You always told me to keep a little on me just in—"

"—don't talk to me like you know me!" Dean warned her, his voice wavering as part of him honestly believed this was one of those 'weirder things' he'd seen happen.

Milly nodded slowly and showed Dean the vials she pulled out of her coat. "These are holy water and salt. I really am Millicent Penelope Bishop, Dean. I know it's been a really long time and you saw me in the hospital a good twelve hours before I died…but…Cas told me not to come."

"Wait a minute…Cas? As in…Cast—" Dean began.

"—Castiel? Yes. As in Castiel, the angel. He has been protecting me—watching over me—since I died. He told me not to show myself but I couldn't help it. You came back here, Peter punched you in the face, you put that DVD in and you think I hate you for not sticking around. Dean, I didn't _want_ you to watch me die, all right?" Milly told him, taking another step forward to hold the vials out to Dean.

Dean swallowed again, keeping himself firmly rooted in place, hoping the wind would waft some of her scent towards him—that way he could be certain. Demons could do a lot of things, but Milly's scent was her own, and if she really _was_ Milly—if Castiel really _had_ been part of her coming back—what was he going to do? He had seen her on her deathbed. He was standing in front of her grave. Milly Bishop…was she _really_ Milly Bishop?

"Dean?" Milly asked him, nodding sadly. "Maybe Cas was right…I should go."

"No!" Dean said suddenly, his voice cracking a little. "Just…give me the vials."

Milly nodded and handed them over, confused when Dean dropped them on the ground and took a couple steps towards her. She looked up at him as he brought his face in close, breathing in the scent of coffee and vanilla. Just in case she had smelt that way when a demon somehow possessed her with her changed hair and her less worn and torn body—he had to know.

"Someone looks a little stunned." Dean whispered softly.

Milly smiled at him slowly, aware of what he was doing. "And someone looks a little retarded."

_Dean looked at Milly fondly as she flipped through the channels from her bed, looking at the television as he sat in the chair near her window and researched with her laptop. He was looking into a hunt a few hours drive away, and she was trying to find something good on TV. Unfortunately, __**neither**__ of them was getting anyway with what they were doing at all._

"_We should go on a walk." Milly told him softly, looking over at him._

_Dean laughed a little. "No. Peter was pretty pissed after that car hit us."_

"_Oh my God that was like a week ago!" Milly protested to him._

"_Yeah, Baby, and you're still bruised." Dean told her, looking at her and smiling sadly. "We almost lost you and I'm not gonna take you out of the house after your brother threatened to kick my ass."_

_Milly rolled her eyes. "Dean, you could take him."_

"_Baby, that's __**not**__ the point." Dean told her, sitting on the bed with her and reaching out to stroke her hair as she turned the TV off._

_Milly took a deep breath and she locked gazes with Dean, glad to catch him in the rare moments of romance that weren't entirely romantic that only she got to see. She felt rather flattered about it and so she let Dean stroke her hair because she knew that though he wasn't going to come out and say it, she had scared him the week before. She had flat-lined for an entire 124 seconds, and though that wasn't in reality a very long time, it was long enough to her family and friends—long enough to her boyfriend who was already protective enough of her and didn't need to be any __**more**__ protective._

"_I think __**someone**__ needs to remember that I love you—and that if your whole family hates me, you'll leave me because you love them so much." Dean explained to her and chuckled when she looked a little surprised. "What?"_

_Milly's jaw dropped. "You just said you love me!"_

"_I did not." Dean told her and scoffed at it even though he knew he had, and he knew that he did. "Someone looks a little stunned."_

"_And someone looks a little retarded." Milly replied lovingly, kissing him softly. "You already knew it but…I love you too."_

It took Dean a moment to realize what exactly it was that had come out of her mouth, but minute it clicked, his lips were on hers. She was in fact a little stunned, but she'd been forced to watch Dean go through enough, and she desperately wanted this from him. So she slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, smelling the familiar smell of gunpowder, leather, motel soap and musk.

"What if you're making-out with a demon?" Milly asked him, pulling away a little as his arms found their way around her waist and pulled her body closer into his, cradling her happily.

Dean made a face. "Do you have to ruin it like this?"

"I could be some demon skank trying to trick you." Milly replied, smiling at him and running her fingers through his hair, looking up into his sad eyes.

"Fine." Dean told her, pulling out of her embrace and bending down, picking up the vials. "Salt first."

Milly made a face. "Do I have to?"

Dean made a face at her and then felt relief wash over him when she told him to come here, and kissed him softly again. Milly stroked his cheeks while he stroked her hair, and for some reason all Dean could believe was that she was telling him the truth. He knew he needed to talk to Castiel about it to _truly_ get down to the bottom of all of it, but for now he had her back—he had his Milly back.

"What if this is all just an illusion?" Dean asked her softly, taking a breath and stroking her hair, cupping her face and looking in her eyes. "Baby, I don't know what to think right now. Part of me wants to test you in all the ways I know how as a hunter, but the other part of me is screaming to trust you."

Milly nodded, caressing his cheek. "We can go and talk to Cas about it."

Milly ran her hands down his jacket and smiled at him, looking back up at him and making eye contact with him. Dean leaned down and kissed her again, running his nose along hers for a moment and then resting his forehead against hers. She smiled at him and pulled his body a little closer to hers, frowning ever so slightly when it dawned on her that she needed to tell Dean why she was around.

"What is it, Mill?" Dean asked her, cradling her body with his once again.

Milly took a breath. "Can we go someplace a little warmer to talk this all over?"

"Yeah, of course." Dean told her, giving her a quick kiss before they headed out.

Dean's hand brushed across Milly's, making her smile and take his hand in hers, kissing the back of his hand softly as they walked. There were hundreds of questions floating through Dean's mind, and hundreds of answers she didn't want to give him yet, but knew she should. Eventually Castiel would show and she would have explaining to do…she really didn't want that moment to come anytime soon.

"Dean, I can't." Milly told him softly.

Dean turned to her as she stopped dead in her tracks and tightened his grip on her hand without harming her at all. She could sense Grace in the motel room as they neared it, and Grace couldn't see her—she had broken enough rules letting Dean see her. If she explained it all to him though it would take far too long…it couldn't hurt to explain just a _little_ at a time.

"Baby, I wasn't supposed to show myself. I was supposed to do my job and then go back away. Grace is in there and she can't see me." Milly explained quickly.

Dean swallowed slowly. "What do you mean 'go back away'? Milly…are you going to die again?"

**Note: This chapter was gonna be a little sadder, but tonight's SPN was sad enough, guys, so there was SOME happiness in this one. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	8. This is Why She's Back

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I'm super sick so if this has type-os or wrong words in weird places, I apologize and will fix them when I'm less blech feeling.**

**Originally, this story was going to take place more around 5.07.**

**However, after 5.10, it has to take place after that—it makes FAR more sense.**

**The Milly storyline is really complicated and yet not complicated at all, and makes FAR more sense after 5.10.**

**You'll understand that soon enough.**

**Warnings: Language, Sensuality, Sex, Violence, Dark Themes, Drugs.**

**ENJOY!!**

****

The question caught her off guard for a moment but she pulled him with her around the way and took a deep breath. He was starting to feel that he was going to lose yet again someone else and he couldn't take that. If he was going to lose someone else he cared about it was going to break even more than he was already broken, and he didn't know how much more of this he could take.

"Milly explain to me now." Dean told her.

She shook her head. "First you have to call Sam and tell him that you're fine. I can't see Grace, Dean…please."

"All right." Dean replied with a small sigh, taking his phone out and calling his brother. "You owe me some explanations."

"I know I do, and Cas can help with that." Milly admitted, holding onto his jacket and looking up at him lovingly as he called Sam.

Sam looked at his cell phone and answered it. "Hey, Dean. Where are you?"

"I'm actually almost back to the motel. You sound like you have something important to talk to me about." Dean told him, wishing he didn't have this gut-wrenching feeling in the pit of his stomach like it was all too good to be true.

Sam took a deep breath. "Milly knew Cas. Grace explained to me that Milly was talking about him before he died and I…I don't think that this is all one big coincidence, Dean. Especially since Grace has been seeing her. She suddenly shows up after everything we've been through? After Lucifer summoned the Angel of Death? Dean…we _have_ to look into this."

"I'll keep that in mind, Sammy. I'm almost there so why don't you send Grace home and thank her for everything." Dean told him, hanging up the phone and looking at Milly. "You're not the Angel of Death, are you? Like an angel using Milly as your damn vessel?"

"Dean, I'm _not_ an angel." Milly told him truthfully.

Dean nodded slowly and stroked her hair, taking a deep breath and trying to see if he could piece it all together without any other information. There was something else going on and he had to know what that was—he had to know why all of this was happening to him now. There were more important things going on in the world, and for this to be happening to him now? Sam was right—this was _not_ a coincidence.

"Before we head into your motel room, we should test some things." Milly explained to him reaching for his knife and cutting into her hand. "For example this stings, but I have no reaction to it so I'm definitely not a revenant. Holy Water?"

Dean handed it to her and then chuckled a little when she asked for the salt first, making a face when she ate some of it, then washed it down with Holy Water and gagged. It wasn't pleasant, but it proved to him that she was at least human. If Castiel was definitely her guardian angel though, it made sense…which meant that there was one more thing to test out.

"I was in Hell once, Mill…do you have any distinct marks on you?" Dean asked her.

Milly smirked a little. "Other than the ones you've already seen?"

_Dean stroked Milly's hair softly as he pulled her naked body tighter to his, kissing her forehead as she looked up at him with sleepy eyes. The night before had been the first night that the two had slept together and for some reason that morning Dean didn't want to leave her—__**ever**__. Milly was so different from any other woman he had ever met or been with and as close as they were now, Dean just wanted to be even closer._

"_I'm not a machine, Perv." Milly told him lovingly, smiling at him and nuzzling his nose with hers. "Was it worth the wait?"_

_Dean chuckled and kissed her. "I guess so."_

"_Oh you just 'guess so', huh?" Milly teased, crawling on top of him and tucking her hair behind her ears. "I certainly didn't do my job then."_

"_However will we rectify that?" Dean asked her, kissing her softly and grunting when she rocked against him a little. "I thought you weren't a machine."_

_Milly giggled and kissed him again, shifting her body against his a little, both of them happy about the skin on skin contact. They were in love, and though neither of them had said it yet and Milly was the only one willing to admit it to herself internally, they were. Dean cared about her far more than anyone else, and he would die for her. He wouldn't truly admit it to himself until that fateful night she caught him talking to John on the phone and was faced with losing her or coming clean about everything and hoping that she would accept him for who he truly was._

"_Baby, what's this scar?" Dean asked her, his fingers running along a scar on her abdomen._

_Milly glanced down in between them from her perch and bit her lip, smiling sadly. "That is where they cut into me to remove an ovary…too much information?"_

"_No, but…why would they do that?" Dean asked her curiously, a little upset he had paused the rocking against each other._

"_I got a nasty virus and it affected a lot of different parts of me—I got part of my liver taken out too." She lied, knowing she couldn't tell him about the cancer…that she couldn't worry him with such things. "Why are we chatting? We were kinda getting to the place I think you were trying to get to when you woke me up…"_

_Dean smiled at her and kissed her again, holding her close to him, both of them actually kind of intrigued by the marks each other had, and the stories behind him…the stories that at that point were more like half truths…_

Dean smiled at her and nodded, glad to know she still had the playfulness in her even though she really had no reason whatsoever to be playful right then. She was going against her own orders just to be with him, and as grateful as he was, he knew how grave things were. He watched as she nodded, lifting up her shirt a little to show him the handprint on her—the handprint that looked slightly different from his own on his shoulder.

"I…there's something off about it." Dean admitted.

Milly smiled at him and put her shirt down. "Yes, because you are _so_ well versed in angelic handprints on human bodies, Dean—_I_ wasn't in Hell. My soul was taken out of Heaven to be put back in my body. Nevertheless, when a soul is dragged back to its flesh, that is the work of an angel, and a mark is left behind."

"I'm glad you never had to be in Hell." Dean told her firmly.

"Me too…but I hate that you had to endure it all." Milly explained sadly, nodding as he looked at her questioningly. "I know so much more than you think I do. I actually _was_ an angel kind of if we're having a Milly/Dean truth-out." She told him and then took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair as he gaped at her. "Castiel granted me that much and though at first I didn't understand why, I soon got it all pointed out to me. I saw you and Sam reunite, I saw Sam die, I saw you sell your soul, I saw you in Hell, I saw Sam drinking demon blood, I saw the fighting and the destinies unfolding—I saw your heart break when you had to say goodbye to one of your dearest friends a few weeks ago after she saved you. I saw you try and kill Lucifer and it not working. I mean honestly, I kind of doubted it—the gun was supposed to kill _demons_. Lucifer is a _fallen angel_. He _created_ demons…he _isn't_ one."

Dean nodded slowly as he tried to take it in. "How are you a 'kind of angel'?"

Milly smiled at him when he asked the question because she had a feeling that taking in that she knew it all would be the easy part for him. The hard part for him to accept was that she knew all of it because of her 'angelic' ties to Heaven. Truth was she wasn't _really_ an angel…she had just been granted the knowledge in case she and Dean had to meet before her task was complete. She was never supposed to jumpstart that meeting—in fact most of the angels had really hoped the two would never meet, and she could do her job and then her soul could once again be laid to rest.

"I was bestowed with knowledge—I don't actually have wings, or healing powers…I can't even just poof from one place to the next. I'm…I'm a vessel too…just like you." Milly explained and then bit her lip. "You know I think I know why Cas didn't want me coming to see you."

Dean frowned and reached out to take hold of Milly's arm. "Don't you dare disappear on me."

"Dean…Cas cares about you and he wants you safe. He wanted you to be able to protect your heart from more pain when I had to…die again." Milly said slowly and her heart broke as the pain swept over all of Dean's facial features. "Baby, you can't handle watching one more person die."

"Especially not when they're going to sacrifice themselves!" Dean yelled, slamming his fist into the side of the motel. "Ellen and Jo were my family! I already lost Mom, and Dad, and Pamela, and a whole slew of people that shouldn't have been caught in the cross fires! Hell, Bobby wants to give up and I can't live if he dies! Now I have to lose you _twice_?! Tell me why that is, Milly! Now!"

Milly swallowed at the demand in his voice but nodded when he punched the side of the motel one more time, staring at her. He wasn't entirely angry at her—he was angry at the angels and their 'destiny' crap that Milly was now trying to peddle to him. He just wanted to understand why all of this was happening to him. She had come back to him and at first he had thought it was a miracle, but now he was more convinced than ever that it was just a ploy—that she was purely an instrument of the angels to wear him down.

"You and Sam were brought here under false pretenses…well, mostly." Milly began, tucking her loose hair behind her ears. "The mutilated bodies? The deaths? It's the work of Hellhounds. There are only two other people in this town that have made crossroads deals who will be torn to pieces by Hell hounds and their times aren't up yet and you can't save them from that fate."

Dean nodded slowly. "All right…what about the rest of it?"

"Dean there is a lot going on here, and—" Milly tried.

"—MILLY _TELL_ ME!" Dean thundered at her, reaching out to stroke her hair to physically apologize for yelling at her like that.

Milly swallowed. "I'm here because I'm taking your place."

Dean raised his eyebrows and made a face—he didn't actually understand what it was that she was saying to him, and he was pretty sure that unless she stopped looking at him and explained it, he was never going to get it. What the Hell did she mean by 'take his place'?

"Milly…" Dean tried, but trailed off when he thought of nothing else to say.

Milly started to tear up. "Being a vessel is in your _blood_, Dean. Michael picked _you_, and he wanted to use _you_, but you won't say 'yes'—and I don't want you to. You shouldn't have to do anything that you don't want to do. However, you're not the only one here that has _your_ blood…a significant amount of _your_ blood runs through _my_ veins…so as a back-up, they kept me on the sidelines."

"Milly, no…" Dean told her, tearing up too and shaking his head. "Milly, no!"

"Dean _someone_ has to let Michael in!" Milly exclaimed and Dean started to break as she started to cry. "I'm Michael's second choice. You saw how Lucifer's vessel wasn't able to fully contain him already, Dean. Sam is Lucifer's true vessel, and he would be _far_ stronger in Sam. So far, thankfully, Sam hasn't given in. _You_ are Michael's _true vessel_, but you don't want to give in either."

Dean nodded vigorously. "Because they will go to war! Do you know how many innocent people will lose their lives when Michael and Lucifer go at it, Milly?! You can't _seriously _be considering this!"

"Dean you saw it! You saw the Colt bullet go right into Lucifer's head and it did, _nothing_! The only way to kill the devil is to have Michael do it!" Milly protested. "He has to sadly, kill his own brother and with some of your blood running through me, I have to give him the upper hand. He can defeat Lucifer. Michael, with some of your blood pumping through me, will be a little more powerful."

"Damn-it, no!" Dean told her angrily, letting go of her and taking steps back. "No! I'm not going to let you do this!"

Milly's lip trembled. "He's not in me now, Dean…but I already told him 'yes'."

**Note: As you can tell, you know MY thoughts on the Dean/Jo stuff. Eric has spent the ENTIRE series pointing out that Dean's feelings for Jo are NOT romantic. Lets face it: Dean would hit on ANYTHING with legs if he knew he was gonna die, and Jo happened to be around—there was nothing ROMANTIC about that at all, so don't pretend there was. Jo is one of his dearest friends, and he thinks of the Harvelles as part of his rather dysfunctional and broken family, but he and Jo are NOT an epic romance. That kiss between them was a, "You are one of my truest friends, you risked your life for me, you mean a lot to me, how dare I lose you too?" As glad as I am that there will never be a time that the beautiful friendship between them will ever be grossly destroyed, I am devastated that she is dead. He looked at her the way he looks at Bobby—with mutual trust and respect, and I value their friendship and now understand how anti-slash fans feel when they are having friendships turned into something they're not for the sake of us slash fans wanting to put people together—that is how I feel about Dean/Jo. Don't make it something it wasn't—they had a beautiful friendship and that was all it was. As to THIS story, things are about to get more confusing. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	9. Just Vent it Out, Baby

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Me and my cliffies—I apologize.**

**This chapter has more explanation, some angst, and a moment I have been dying to write since I started writing this in the first place, when it was all playing around in my head.**

**Warnings: Language, Sensuality, Sex, Violence, Dark Themes, Drugs.**

**ENJOY!!**

****

Grace had actually felt a little bad about leaving Sam behind—she was already starting to grow fond of him. She wasn't sure what her feelings about him were exactly, but she knew that they were just incredibly truthful with each other and she wasn't sure anyone had _ever_ been that truthful with her besides Peter. Actually, the more she thought about it, the more it made her swallow because she wasn't sure how to deal with any of it.

"Maybe it would be best if I just took all of this just a little slower." Grace said aloud to herself, running her finger through her hair.

She nodded because she was certain that was the best course of action, and then she froze when she saw Peter on her steps. Grace smiled at him a little bit and sat down next to him, pretty sure she'd see him pretty soon. She was no stranger to Peter coming to her for advice and for comfort and she was willing to give it to him even though he'd punched Dean in the face. Grace understood Peter like no one else did, and that was part of why he was so in love with her, but so unable to voice it.

"I hear you punched Dean in the face." Grace told Peter with a small smile on her face, immediately running her fingers through his hair.

Peter nodded slowly. "Yeah…I actually feel really bad about that. So…you hear that I ordered him out of town too?"

"Yeah, but you didn't mean it entirely. I mean of course you meant part of it but…you know deep down that this isn't actually Dean's fault. It was _Milly's_ choice _not_ to tell Dean about her cancer." Grace told him, leaning her head against him. "I mean you have every right to be mad at him for taking her out, and for sleeping with her, and for all the taking off on her he did…but cut him some slack, Pete—he only _just_ found out about their baby."

Peter nodded and wrapped his arms around Grace. "I just can't go back and tell him I'm sorry…part of me just isn't sorry at all, Gracie."

"I know, Pete. Why don't you…why don't you come on in and have some tea or something? Sound good?" Grace asked him.

Peter nodded and the two stood up and walked into her home as Dean stormed into the motel room angrily, Milly sighing behind him and Sam scrambling up. He had absolutely no idea why Milly was there, or why Dean was upset, but he was pretty certain he was about to know _everything_. Sam took the moment of their angry silence glaring at each other to look Milly over and he realized she was _exactly_ Dean's type—even if some things about her didn't match up.

She was beautiful, she was independent, and it looked like even though Dean was mad at her, part of him was losing the battle. Milly stood her ground and Sam was surprised when she turned to him and smiled, holding out her hand and he took it. The girl was surprising and for some reason, Sam already liked her and he was pretty happy to see the love in Dean's eyes for her even though he was pissed.

"I'm Milly—nice to meet you, Sam." Milly told him and then closed her eyes and sighed when Dean spoke up.

"Why don't you tell him who else you are?" Dean said, motioning to Sam.

Milly took her hand from Sam's slowly and looked at Dean. "Stop being such an immature Princess, Dean!"

"She's Michael's other vessel." Dean told Sam, staring Milly down.

"If you don't stop glaring at me, I'm going to have to seduce you." Milly muttered, running her hands down her face.

Sam laughed loudly as Dean did a double-take, both of them hearing what it was that she had said. He knew he shouldn't have found it so entertaining, but for some reason his first impression of Milly and how she acted with Dean was just too perfect for Sam. Still, she was Michael's 'other vessel'? How the Hell did _that_ work?

"Wait, so…Michael's other vessel?" Sam asked her calmly.

Milly nodded slowly. "Yeah…see, Dean here has given me a lot of blood over the years and since he won't say 'yes', Michael's next choice was me because the vessel thing? It's in your blood…and I have some of Dean's 'chosen blood'."

"Wow…this is kind of heavy." Sam said slowly.

"She didn't tell you that she already said 'yes'." Dean explained and instead of anger, Milly and Sam both _clearly_ noted the pain in his voice.

Milly took a deep breath and took her jacket off, tossing it on Dean's bed and walking over to him, taking his jacket in her hands and looking up at him. For the first time since they'd started glaring at each other, Dean looked away, and Milly sighed loudly, Sam watching the interaction between them. At first he thought he should leave them alone in the room together, but it was pretty obvious that he needed to hear what was going on…and he really liked seeing Dean around something he genuinely loved so much.

"Look, someone _had_ to. I do _not_ want the future that you saw, Dean, and neither do you—admit it. You don't want Sam to get the chance to be pressured into saying 'yes' to save you." Milly explained to him. "I mean come on, Dean—Lucifer has to be taken out now."

Dean looked down at her sadly. "Then why isn't Michael in you now?"

"Because Michael is an incredibly powerful archangel and until Lucifer's current vessel weakens a little bit he doesn't want to put my body through that. Until then, you have to deal with me because I stupidly showed myself." Milly explained to him.

Dean stroked her hair. "Damn-it, Mill."

"I know you're pissed, Baby—I know." Milly nodded and then kissed him softly. "I just need this all to end, all right?"

"All right, but…Peter told Sam and I to leave town, so…are you going to come with us, maybe?" Dean asked her.

Milly smiled sadly. "Pete didn't mean all of it, Dean…he just hurts because…because Lexi is moving out…she wants to leave town."

_Dean rubbed his temples and took a deep breath, trying hard to figure out what to say to Peter as he stood there. It wasn't new for Dean to be threatened by Peter, and Dean couldn't blame him this time—he'd found out about Dean and Milly sleeping together. For Dean though, this was hitting close to home because he actually cared about Milly and for some reason actually __**wanted**__ to be close with her family and he was definitely __**not**__ close to Peter at all._

"_You're not good for her." Peter told Dean with a shake of his head. "I appreciate you giving her blood, but you can't just blame the other driver for the accident, Dean—__**you**__ were the one driving __**your**__ car."_

_Dean scoffed. "Peter, don't you ever get tired of blaming me for everything bad that happens to your sister?"_

"_Just don't hurt her, Dean…or I'll hurt you far worse." Peter warned, and headed out of Dean's motel room._

_Dean hit the wall with his fist and then sighed loudly when he heard a knock on the door, opening it up angrily, expecting Peter to come back and have more to say. It was Lexi though, and Dean smiled at her a little and let her in, knowing that Lexi actually __**liked **__Dean enough to be on his side sometimes. She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders, looking up at Dean and smiling sadly._

"_I'm sorry about Pete, Dean. He's just really protective and Milly…we're his little sisters and he thinks he has to be our second father." Lexi told him, knowing she couldn't spill about the cancer._

_Dean nodded slowly. "I know, I just—Milly's __**not**__ glass! She's a big girl and she can make her own damn decisions!"_

"_Damn straight I can." Milly agreed, having let herself in._

"_Just don't take it personally." Lexi told Dean, smiling at him and then her sister before leaving the two alone._

_Milly went straight up to Dean and kissed him, stroking his hair and holding onto his shirt, looking up into his eyes and staying silent. The thing Dean loved most about Milly was that she knew when to be cheeky and playful, and she knew when she needed to shut her mouth so that Dean could rant. Just the notion that she knew him well enough to know he wanted to rant made him pull her closer to him and wrap his arms around her, kissing her and changing her mind about what he wanted._

"_And to think, Baby…the bed is __**right**__ there…" Milly told him, winking and laughing as he pulled her down on the bed with him and kissed her tenderly._

Sam smiled fondly at the two of them and then cleared his throat and Milly looked over at him as Dean just smiled down at Milly with love in his eyes. The sight honestly warmed Sam's heart, and he knew that he had to definitely leave the two of them alone. Besides, there was probably some more that he could do while they caught up a little less hostilely. The two of them deserved their second chance, and Sam was pretty sure he knew what it was that he needed to know and that was the end of it…he didn't need to know anymore.

"I'm going to go and see if I can't find Cas." Sam told them and smiled when Milly did. "I'll call him and we'll get down to the bottom of all of this soon. I just…it would be easier if you hadn't given Michael an answer yet, but we'll have to deal."

Milly smiled at him. "It was nice to finally meet you, Sam."

"You too, Milly—keep him in your sights so he doesn't do anything rash, please." Sam said with a laugh and Dean looked at his brother.

"Hey—don't tell your new girlfriend about Milly, all right? She's not supposed to show herself to any of her family members or friends." Dean explained to Sam.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Grace is _not_ my new girlfriend. Now…play nice you two."

Milly laughed a little and nodded, Sam heading out of the motel room and leaving Milly and Dean alone with each other. Dean took his jacket off and sat on the motel bed as Milly glanced around and then her eyes rested on the foot board and they lit up excitedly. All she could think about right then was how much she had appreciated Dean and how much he had loved and supported her—now she was just breaking him even more before she was taken from him again.

"It's our room." Milly told him, tucking her hair behind her ears.

Dean nodded slowly. "Yeah…it really is, Mill."

"Which means that this…" She said, sitting on Dean's lap, straddling him, "…is our bed…"

"I suppose you could call it that." Dean replied softly, leaning up a little. "God, I've missed you."

Milly smiled at him and nodded slowly, biting her lip and resting her hand on Dean's cheek, stroking it with her thumb. She looked him in the eye and he knew what she wanted to ask and he had no idea how he was going to fare with her after they talked about it. Besides, she was the only one he'd ever truly been in love with—the only one it ever truly broke him to leave…

"I shouldn't have showed myself to you." Milly told him sadly, resting her forehead on his. "All I ever do to you is hurt you and I really haven't rectified that in my death and resurrection."

Dean made a face. "Okay, my reading you is off."

"No it's not." Milly told him, shaking her head. "I was going to ask about the others but it doesn't matter—not really. I wasn't around and you had a lot of pain and loneliness to work through."

"Don't _ever_ leave me again." Dean ordered her.

Before Milly could respond to that, Dean had pulled her in for a kiss and she didn't think she could deny the two of them the closeness. They were in a familiar room, in a bed they were both fond of, and Dean wanted to feel her like he had in the past…and she couldn't deny that she wanted to feel him too as she ground herself against his lap a little. In reaction, Dean lifted her shirt up a little and she raised her arms so he could get it off of her, and after a moment of eye contact between the two, Milly whispered that she loved him and Dean couldn't hold back any longer…

**Note: Castiel is showing up in the next chapter as well as Milly's parents, just a heads up. I have a couple more twists up my sleeves too. =) Feedback is always appreciated!**


	10. The Angels are Seeking

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay so this chapter has Cas, Milly's parents, and with some angst, there's some romance.**

**WARNINGS: Language, Sensuality, Sex, Violence, Dark Themes, Drugs.**

**ENJOY!!**

****

The second that Milly had whispered that she loved him, Dean couldn't hold back any longer. There was absolutely nothing in the world that could stop this, and Dean crashed his lips into Milly's, both of them letting out a soft sigh of longing. Milly had never really expected to get to be alone with Dean like this, but she couldn't deny that she wanted this. It wasn't like the two of them hadn't done this before…

Dean ran his fingers through Milly's hair, holding her securely in his lap, chuckling a little as Milly pulled her lips away from his and her hands hurried to his button-up. She was fumbling a little, desperate to get his shirt off, and she shot him a look when the chuckling mounted. He thought it was adorable that she wanted him so badly that she was having problems with his buttons.

"I want to savor this anyway." Dean told her, sneaking a quick kiss from her and grunting pleasantly as she shifted her weight roughly against his lap again. "Okay, the shirt is coming off."

Milly beamed and nodded, moving her hands down to his belt which surprisingly came off easier for her than his shirt was. Dean got his button-up off and then pulled his t-shirt off as Milly dropped his belt on the floor and worked on unbuttoning his pants. At first Dean wasn't sure exactly what Milly was doing when she shifted her weight on him again, but soon her lips were back on his and her hand had slid into his pants, reaching their destination.

"I've missed you." Milly whispered, biting Dean's bottom lip as she started to tug on Dean in every right way, him whimpering a little into her mouth. "Damn-it, Cas!"

Dean swallowed, really wanting to continue with where they were going, but Castiel had appeared in the motel room, and Milly surprisingly wasn't stopping her hand. That wasn't really flying with Dean, because he was going to embarrass himself if she kept it up. Castiel turned away from Dean and Milly, swallowing awkwardly as Dean rocked his hips up against Milly's hand and he shot her a look.

Dean knew his look wasn't the look he was meaning to give her. "Okay, we need to stop and talk to Cas…Mill…thank you."

Milly got off of Dean's lap and went for her shirt, Dean pressing a pillow onto his lap and swallowing, really not happy he and Milly got interrupted. At the same time, Castiel being there meant that Dean was going to get some of the answers he was looking for. Still…watching Milly pull her shirt back on was really not the sight Dean wanted to see…he was hoping to get her bra off…

"Cas…I assume you're here for a reason?" Milly asked him and Dean was surprised at the way Milly smiled at Castiel…there were still things he didn't know.

Dean took a breath. "What is it, Cas?"

"The other angels are not very happy about Milly showing herself—I came to warn her." Castiel explained to them. "Zachariah is looking for her but…"

"Right." Milly replied and nodded because the two of them knew what she was talking about…however, Dean did not.

Milly went over to Castiel and tapped on his shoulder, Castiel turning to her and then looking her over. He had to make sure that she was unharmed and she was thankful for it, but at the same time she was nervous about it. Dean was going to construe hers and Castiel's relationship as more than it was, and Milly really didn't want that to complicate things more than they were already complicated.

"So Zachariah is looking for Milly?" Dean asked, trying to cut into the looks that Castiel and Milly were giving each other.

Castiel looked over at him. "Yes—she's very important to the angels."

"Look, there's one more thing I haven't told you." Milly explained, swallowing a little. "Zach kind of…_wanted_ me to show myself. You see, he thinks that you will sacrifice yourself for me and tell Michael 'yes' to stop me from going through with it."

"Zachariah thinks he knows me really well." Dean told her, and though he was trying to be strong about it, the thought actually _had_ crossed his mind…Dean would do _anything_ for Milly Bishop…

_Dean was propped up on his hand and looking at Milly as she slept. She was so beautiful to him and though part of him was annoyed he was that attached, the other part of him couldn't take his eyes off of her. He even chuckled when she put her hand in his face, her eyes closed, a large grin on her face._

"_Stop watching me sleep." Milly told him. "It's a little stalkerish."_

_Dean kissed the palm of her hand. "Oh, yeah?"_

"_Yeah." Milly replied, pulling her hand back and turning to look at him. "You know…you're kind of hot in the mornings."_

"_Well so are you." Dean said, kissing her tenderly. "So, hot."_

_Milly pulled Dean on top of her, kissing him a little more passionately than before. She wanted to put him in a good mood so she could ask him what she needed to ask him. Besides…he really __**was**__ rather attractive right in the morning and he was just right there…so why not indulge herself too?_

_Dean stroked her hair as she started to move up against him, both of them quite sure where it was all going, so they started to take each others' clothes off. Milly ran his nose along Dean's for a moment when his flesh pushed inside of hers, and she kissed him softly as he increased the pace a little. When their releases slammed into them, the two of them looked each other in the eye and Dean placed a soft kiss on Milly's lips to show her that he truly cared about her._

"_Wow..." Milly told Dean, giggling and pushing her bangs off of her damp forehead as he rolled off of her. "That was…just, wow…"_

_Dean nodded, chuckling and looking up at the ceiling. "Agreed."_

"_Hey, Dean?" Milly asked him suddenly, her toned changed._

"_Yeah?" Dean asked her, turning on his side and gazing at her._

_Milly turned to look at him. "I need you to go to dinner with me tonight and make an impression on my parents."_

"_If that's what you want…fine." Dean told her, and though at first the thought made him want to run, he couldn't hurt Milly and he was going to do whatever it was she asked of him…no matter what._

Dean opened his mouth to say something else as Milly and Castiel glanced at each other, but there was a knock on the motel room door. Milly swallowed and Castiel popped out because he knew that he shouldn't be there. As Dean pulled his t-shirt on and headed to the door, Milly slipped into the bathroom and shut the door behind her because it was pretty obvious that it wasn't Sam, and Milly was supposed to be dead.

She planted herself up against the door and listened through it so she could figure out what was going on without being there. Dean opened up the door and nodded slowly, waving his hand and letting in Claire and Jackson Bishop—Milly's, Peter's, and Lexi's parents, Lexi trailing behind them. She hadn't wanted them to come, but they had insisted, so she had decided to go with them so that nothing bad happened to Dean.

"We heard that you were in town and thought we should pay you a visit." Claire told him, brushing a piece of lint off of Dean's collar. "How are you doing?"

Jackson looked at Claire and sighed. "Claire he is a grown man, will you stop babying him, please?"

"Trust me Dad, it's better than the other greetings he's gotten, I'm sure." Lexi replied, smiling sadly. "So why don't you guys tell him why you're _really_ here."

"Yes, Dean," Claire began, smiling at him and then sighing, "we're kind of worried on the effect of your presence on Peter. He took Milly's death really hard and I don't think he ever forgave you."

Jackson ran his hand down his face. "He's not the only one."

"Jackson, I told you not to do this." Claire said, her face no longer warm and friendly. "Dean did _not_ kill our daughter so hold your tongue if you're not going to say anything nice."

"Claire, you can't tell me you're _happy_ that he's back!" Jackson exclaimed at her.

Milly wanted more than anything to go into the room and stand up for Dean, but she had her orders. She was going to go back to being a corpse after this, and she couldn't very well _explain_ all of this to her parents…maybe Lexi, but not her parents. Her parents—especially her mother—had never liked the idea of Milly dating when her time was counting down, and her father? Her father held grudges…and _neither _of them would understand that there were angels on Earth and that she, Milly Bishop, was going to harbor the most powerful one of all in order to save the world from Lucifer.

"Look, Dean, I know that you know that Jackson and I were never keen on you dating Milly in the first place, and I was _not_ on board with her not telling you about the cancer, but…whatever you're doing here…try not to get into anything with Peter, please? Lexi is moving out of town and he's in a really bad place." Claire explained. "I'm glad you're well but…"

Dean nodded and put his hands in his pockets. "I know, Mrs. Bishop—I'm not exactly a family friend and I understand that. My brother and I are going to leave soon I just…I came to talk to her grave."

Dean really didn't like _lying_ to Milly's parents, but he knew it had made Lexi feel better and the look on Claire's face—that motherly appreciation—pretty much told him that he'd done the right thing. Besides, Dean _had_ talked to Milly's grave and he probably would have even without the pushing from Grace so it wasn't a _complete_ lie. Jackson, though glad to hear that Dean actually cared, was still a little weary of him, but not willing to fight about it.

"Thank you." Jackson told him. "I…though I wasn't glad that you were dating my daughter and dragging all around the place…I'm glad you cared about her."

Dean nodded slowly. "I loved your daughter, Mr. Bishop."

"Take care of yourself, Dean." Claire told him, stroking his cheek softly and then heading out of the motel room with Jackson, nodding at Lexi as she lagged behind.

"I'm sorry about them—Mom was curious, and Dad was kind of…Milly was his favorite daughter and he and Peter both got really upset about the baby thing." Lexi explained and then she smiled. "I'm going to go, but uh…_do_ take care of yourself okay, Dean?"

Dean nodded and after an awkward hug, Lexi left and Milly slowly came out of the bathroom, looking at Dean softly. She walked over to him and put her hand on his hips, taking a breath and looking him in the eye. At first she thought it was going to help, but Dean looked really upset and she knew that he was hurting and she couldn't fix it. In fact, Milly was starting to understand why Castiel had told her to steer clear of him.

"I'm just…I'm going to go." Milly told him, looking up at Dean and sighing as he held onto her and pulled her body into his.

Dean stroked her hair. "You know for doing everything the angels tell you to do, you sure don't take order from _me_ very well."

"Dean, all I'm doing is—" Milly began, but she nodded a little into the kiss that Dean placed on her lips.

**Note: So there was that chapter and I hope you enjoyed it! There is more coming. How'd you like Milly's parents? Feedback is always appreciated!**


	11. It's Time

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay, here is another chapter and it's kind of tame, but there's a twist at the end.**

**I hope you guys enjoy it!**

**WARNINGS: Language, Sensuality, Sex, Violence, Dark Themes, Drugs.**

**ENJOY!!**

****

Milly giggled a little as Dean's fingers traveled up her shirt, his teeth softly nipping at her neck, her head tilted back against the pillows. They wanted to sleep together, but after the first intrusion, they were pretty certain that it was only a matter of time before Sam showed up. So, sadly for the two of them, they were keeping most of their clothes on…but that didn't mean they weren't feeling each other up.

"You know…maybe if it was really quick…" Dean offered, smiling as the laugh in her throat rumbled against his lips.

Milly shook her head. "I don't wanna risk it. Your brother and I _just_ met and I'd rather he not walk in on us naked."

"Believe it or not, Sammy has seen naked people before." Dean told her, looking her in the eye.

"I think someone's cranky…and needs another button open." Milly proposed, smiling a little and kissing Dean as he smirked.

She slipped her fingers into his hair and shook her head a little into the kiss as Dean started to unbutton the rest of the buttons on her shirt. Dean grunted in protest and then sighed as he pulled his lips away from hers, their eyes locking gazes. Dean reached up and stroked her cheek, smiling at her softly and taking a deep breath.

"This isn't going to last forever, is it?" Dean asked her.

Milly shook her head sadly. "No…sooner or later I'm going to have to let Michael in…and when he's done with me, I'm supposed to die again…"

"Well, I'm not going to let that happen." Dean told her, nodding affirmatively. "I can't let you sacrifice so much for me."

"Dean, I'm doing this because Cas brought me back to life—he gave me my body back." Milly explained, cupping Dean's face and running her thumb along his bottom lip. "I was willing to do _anything_ to thank him for that."

Dean sighed and kissed Milly again, not ready to accept that Milly was going to be taken away from him again. He had dealt with her death once before, and he was pretty certain that he could stop it. What if he made a deal with Michael? What if he agreed to let Michael in under the condition that Milly still got to live?

While Dean was trying to form the questions in his head so he could ask Milly, Sam was swallowing. He knew he shouldn't have tried to seek Grace out like this, but he really wanted to see her before he left town. Besides, he was starting to be aware that he had feelings for her, and so he sucked up his fear and reached out to knock on her door.

"Who's that?" Peter asked her, sipping his coffee.

Grace shrugged at him. "I don't know."

She got up from the kitchen table as another knock sounded and opened up the front door, trying to ignore the patter of her heart. She was actually really happy to see Sam, but at the same time some fear was creeping in. Peter and her had, had a heart to heart and he felt bad for what he had done, but it probably wasn't best to have Sam and Peter in the same room just yet.

"Hey, Sam." Grace told him, genuinely glad he was there even with Peter in the kitchen.

Sam smiled at her and scratched his head. "Hey, Grace. I, uh…I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done and everything you tried to prevent while Dean and I were here."

"It was nothing." Grace replied, Peter getting up and heading over to the door since Grace sounded a little disappointed. "I really do hope that everything works out for you and Dean."

"Why don't you invite him in, Grace?" Peter offered to her. "There's some coffee left over if he wants some."

Grace was surprised at Peter's offer, and was pretty sure he had an ulterior motive, but Grace wanted to see Sam. Sam smiled awkwardly as Grace nodded and opened up the door wider, smiling at him. Peter nodded and went to pour Sam a cup of coffee, both of them feeling a little bit like their territory was being trespassed on.

Sam knew he had no right to feel that way because he hadn't known Grace for very long and Peter had known her for years, but he did. For Peter, he wasn't very happy about the smiles that Grace was throwing Sam's way when Peter had been there for Grace and Grace for him and Sam was a stranger to them. Besides, Sam was also Dean's younger brother, and they were leaving town. Why would Grace want to have anything to do with him when he was just going to up and leave her?

Sam thanked Peter for the cup of coffee as Milly kissed Dean when he opened his mouth to speak to her, and he nodded a little into it, aware she didn't want to talk about anything. Then she pulled away though, running his nose along his and taking a deep breath of her own. For not wanting to talk about anything, she had certainly thought of something to say rather quickly.

"Can we just focus on being together right now?" Milly asked him. "That look in your eyes makes me think the wheels are turning in your head."

Dean nodded slowly. "I don't want you to have to be Michael's vessel—I want you to be able to live."

"Let's just focus on being together right now, Dean…you don't want me to leave, so just hold me…it's been a long time since we just got to be with each other." Milly whispered, pressing her forehead to his and then cuddling up with him.

_Milly nodded sadly as she walked into the motel room and saw Dean packing up his duffle. It was inevitable that he was going to take off because his father needed him to help him hunt, but Milly didn't want him to go. She hadn't been feeling too well so they hadn't been hanging out everyday, and she knew he could be gone forever and never turn back…she knew this could be the last time that she ever saw him._

"_So your father called?" Milly asked him._

_Dean nodded at her, afraid that looking at her was going to actually break his heart. He had spent so much time with Milly and now he was leaving and he didn't want to—he wanted to stay with her. Still, he knew that he had a job to do and that his father had given him a direct order, so he had to leave her here._

"_I'm going to miss you." Milly told him._

_Dean looked at her and swallowed. "We'll see each other again."_

"_Dean, you don't know that." Milly said, smiling sadly._

_She knew that even if Dean managed to somehow make it back to Cottonwood Falls, she might not be around. As healthy as she had been trying to keep herself, she knew that her life was ticking down and since she was no longer doing chemo since the treatments had stopped working years ago, she knew hers and Dean's last day was staring them in the face. Still, he didn't know she had cancer because she hadn't wanted to tell him, and so it was going to be a little harder than she thought to convince Dean to stay a little longer._

"_When do you have to head out?" Milly asked him, walking over to him and standing next to him by the bed._

_Dean reached out and stroked her hair. "Depends…how is our 'farewell' going to go?"_

"_Hopefully perfectly." Milly whispered, kissing him softly and running her hands up his arms, Dean smiling a little and nodding into the kiss as Milly started unbuttoning his shirt._

Milly smiled at Dean as he slept, her ear firmly pressed to his chest so she could listen to his heartbeat. The two of them had talked to each other for a long while about days without each other, and then they'd cuddled up together and Dean had fallen asleep. It had been a long, trying day for him and Milly had been very happy to watch him sleep.

His mouth was slightly open but he hadn't been asleep enough to drool yet, and Milly realized she hadn't seen him like this for years. She had never really taken the time to take Dean into her mind's eye, but now she felt she had to. It was only a matter of time before Michael came, and she couldn't explain how she knew that—she just felt it.

"Hey, Sam." Milly said looking over at the door as Sam came in.

Honestly, Milly and Dean had had enough time to sleep together, but instead they'd simply talked and cuddled. It had been a rather delightful evening, and now Sam was back and when he sat on the couch, Milly untangled herself from Dean and went to sit next to him. Sam smiled at her a little and then sighed, looking at her and she smiled a little too, making Sam blurt everything out.

"I think I'm having feelings for Grace." Sam told her quickly.

Milly smiled at him. "Yeah? Well personally I think Grace could use a man like you in her life, Sam. You have a long face though…is it because you were forward with her about it and she doesn't know you well enough yet…or is it Peter?"

"Is she _with_ Peter?" Sam asked her slowly.

"No…but Peter has always had a thing for her." Milly explained, hugging her knees to her. "It's one of those things that Lex and I noticed, but Grace never did. She grew up with us—she thinks of us like siblings so, on her side you have nothing to worry about."

Sam nodded and looked at the TV. "Yeah, but I've seen what Peter is like when he's really pissed off."

"You know, I get it—I do—but know that Peter isn't always as angry as he lets on…he's just not sure how to go through life alone." Milly explained to him.

Sam just nodded slowly and then scooted a little closer to Milly and she looked up at him. The two of them really hadn't gotten to talk to each other, and Milly smiled at him when she saw the look in his eyes. So the two of them started to talk about _everything_—she and Sam were both actually kind of happy to know they had so much in common too.

Mostly, Sam was happy to know that Milly was so in love with Dean, and so sorry that she had come back into his life. He knew that she cared about him and that she really wanted to spare the two of them the effects of being vessels, and that kind of made him feel like he owed her something. Especially since Milly had been dealing with having cancer since she was sixteen.

"So…you're really on board with all of this?" Sam asked Milly.

Milly nodded, looking at the TV. "Yeah…I mean come on, it has to be done. I know you didn't mean to break the last seal, but you did—Lucifer is out. Someone has to kill him and since the Colt didn't work…it's kinda obvious that the angels had the right idea, don't you think? Michael has to do this…and you and Dean shouldn't be forced to participate in this battle if you don't want to. Well…you have more reason not to want to and I'm backing you up on it."

"You really are perfect for Dean." Sam told her, smiling and tucking her hair behind her ear. "I appreciate you wanting to do this, but this isn't _your_ war either."

"Sadly…I think this has become _everyone's_ war." Milly explained, looking Sam in the eye.

Sam nodded slowly and then he told her to be careful when she grabbed some change out of Dean's jacket pocket and went out to the vending machine. Milly had enjoyed getting to talk to Sam and getting to see Dean again, but when the lights outside of the motel began to flicker, Milly nodded and grabbed the Snickers bar that dropped. She turned her back to the vending machine and looked up at the sky.

"Michael…you have to take the candy bar back to Dean at least." Milly told him and smiled sadly. "All right…I'm ready.

Milly stood there as the warm light washed over her, and soon she realized that she was no longer in control of her own body…she was now Michael the archangel.

**Note: What a cliffy, I know. What's going to happen next? And what happened with Sam, Peter and Grace—let's just say we get a flashback for them next chapter. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	12. The Luck of the Winchesters

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay this chapter starts off confusing, but I swear that it will be a little more understandable as it moves along.**

**This one is also INCREDIBLY dark…you're warned now.**

**WARNINGS: Language, Sensuality, Sex, Violence, Dark Themes, Drugs.**

**ENJOY!!**

****

"Daddy! Daddy!" Johnny cried, running into the bedroom and jumping on the bed.

Dean chuckled a little and then groaned, which only made Johnny jump on the bed even more, trying to get his father up. He wanted to have breakfast with his parents, especially since he knew that his mother hadn't been very happy lately. If it wasn't one thing, it was another, and the only time she seemed happy was when she was with Dean and Jamie.

In order to stay with Grace, Sam had had to go to Cottonwood Falls and build his family over, and because of Dean, Milly had gotten to stay alive. Because of Dean, Milly and he had gotten to start over and build a family…because of Dean, Milly had to give up her family and live her life with Dean away from the people that she had loved.

"Johnny, can you quit bouncing, please?" Dean asked him, shielding his eyes from the light streaming in the window.

The sandy-haired boy shook his head vigorously. "Momma says its time for breakfast."

"Oh does she now?" Dean asked him, sitting up and tickling his son happily.

Johnny started laughing and then told his father to kindly stop, Dean giving in and getting up, following his son to the kitchen for breakfast. Something definitely smelt good, and when he came into the kitchen Milly turned her sad expression into a smile immediately, and Dean was none the wiser. Milly had gotten pretty good at hiding things from her little family…she just wished she didn't _have_ to hide anything.

Milly was actually rather _giddy_ to have a husband and a beautiful son, but sometimes it hurt her that her son thought she was an only child and didn't know his aunts and uncle. On top of not getting to see her family, she had seen Peter in darker moments, turning to drugs and wasting his life away…committing suicide…and she couldn't stop it. Ever since the apocalypse had ended, it had brought pain with it, and Milly sometimes wished that Dean had just let her go.

"Smells like pancakes." Dean said, a grin on his face as he kissed his wife.

Johnny rolled his eyes. "PDA in the kitchen where the food is made? Why does that strike me as not all right?"

"He takes after _you_." Milly told Dean, stealing a kiss from him because the kiss had actually made her feel quite a bit better.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment." Dean replied, smiling at Milly and stroking her hair. "Now where are _my_ pancakes?"

Sam stood in the room, frozen, staring at Milly and her slightly blank expression. Before he had distinctly seen her smile and now Dean was laying on the bed, out cold, a small smile on his face. She'd walked into the room, said it had to be this way, and then Dean was suddenly going off.

Dean had _known_ that Milly was Michael—he'd _known_ the woman that walked back through the motel door and handed him the candy bar when he woke up wasn't _his_ Milly. Sam had actually sensed that something was wrong, and then Dean had gone off and talked about how all he wanted was for Milly to live. Then Michael had explained that Milly couldn't…he'd said, "Milly's place is no longer here."

"Why are you doing this?" Sam asked suddenly.

Michael turned to look at him from gazing at Dean and smiled a little. "Dean wants to make a deal that I'm not willing to make. I need him…he's my true vessel…but he isn't ready yet…he doesn't understand."

"Why don't you try and make _me_ understand." Sam told Michael, surprised he was so upset about this. "Why don't you explain to me why Milly can't live with Dean? Isn't having Dean as a vessel important to how this war ends?"

"Of course it is, Sam…but you don't get it." Michael stated, Milly's beautiful eyes peering into Sam's. "Milly died—she left her family behind—she can't go back to them. She knew what she was getting into when she made this agreement, and Dean's happy future he wants with her is never going to come true. I need Dean—I do—but I refuse to return Milly to this world only to leave her to hurt…I love her far too much to inflict so much pain on her."

Sam nodded slowly, confused at first when Michael spoke of his love for her, but understanding what he was saying. There was no way that the Bishop's would react positively to their daughter suddenly being alive after almost 8 years…there was no way that she could return to her life. So for the second time, Sam felt like an angel in the fold was actually being truthful, and it made him wish he could be that way with Grace.

"_So besides coming to talk to Milly's grave…what brought you and your brother here?" Peter asked Sam, handing him the cup of coffee._

_Sam smiled at him. "Just following Dean—he was feeling a little hopeless."_

"_What do you mean by that?" Peter asked him, Grace looking between the two boys nervously, wanting to know what was actually going to happen next._

"_Dean and I have lost a few people that were very dear to us—family—and he wanted to pay his respects to the one woman he's ever __**truly**__ loved." Sam explained, sipping the coffee. "And I just wanted to thank Grace before we took off for really standing by his decision to make amends."_

_Peter nodded, and looked at Grace, crestfallen to see the way she was looking at Sam. He had seen that look on her face before, and it hurt him even more to see Sam look at Grace and smile, the two of them locking eye contact. The attraction between them was pretty obvious, and Peter suddenly had this sinking feeling…this feeling like he knew that he was going to be alone…he was going to be alone forever._

"_I'm sorry that you have such a terrible first impression of me, Sam." Peter told him, sighing. "I should have controlled my temper better."_

_Sam shook his head. "No, I get it…she was your sister and Dean has a habit of not really using his head."_

"_Still…I shouldn't have hit him and ordered him out of town." Peter explained, really trying to make up for what he had done._

"_It's all right—we've overstayed our welcome." Sam nodded, and then stood up to go. "It really was nice to come in and talk a little, but I really just wanted to thank you. Dean and I are taking off tomorrow."_

_Grace nodded at him and then once Sam and Peter had smiled and said 'goodbye' to each other, Grace had walked Sam to the door. She told him to keep in touch partially because she knew she'd need to talk to him about all this new demon stuff she was learning about, and partially because she really didn't want him to go. Then he'd surprised her, slipping his fingers into her hair and bringing her lips crashing into his for a kiss._

_His lips were actually moist, and sublimely warm, and Grace found herself slightly breathless as she moved her lips against his. Then he slowly pulled away, both of them opening their eyes and making that solid eye contact and Grace felt her stomach doing belly flops. Then just like that, Sam had stopped touching her and went out the front door and Grace realized that she might never see him again…and the idea wasn't settling well with her at all._

"Will you two slow down, please?!" Milly exclaimed. "I want you both to keep living."

Dean smiled at his wife and then at his son who was scarfing down pancakes with him like nobody's business. He was glad his son had picked up on his eating habits, but at the same time, he knew that Milly was right—no sense choking on breakfast. So he told Johnny to slow down, and then when breakfast was over, sent him up to get ready for school that day.

"I can drive him in today if you want—I have a late starting day today." Dean explained, walking up behind his wife and wrapping his arms around her as she washed some dishes.

Milly laughed a little. "I hope you're not planning on getting lucky, because I have a whole bunch of things to do."

"I thought you _wanted _to have a trysty morning, Mill." Dean told her, nipping at her neck. "I did this for you, you know?"

"I know…you do a lot of things for me." She said softly, scrubbing at a plate a little harder than she knew she needed to.

Dean sighed, nodding slowly and letting Milly go. He'd learned early on in the marriage that when she started to get upset about Michael, and about being so far from Lexi, Peter, Grace, Sam, Jackson and Claire, he shouldn't press the matter. So he simply went to get dressed, and took Johnny to school, coming back to an ominously quiet house. He went to the answering machine first, the red light blinking, and smiled as he heard Sam's voice—he hadn't talked to Sam in quite some time.

"Hey guys! It's me. Grace doesn't know I'm calling but I, uh…I wanted to tell you guys that I'm going to be a Dad! Yeah, I know, right? Me—the freak—a Dad. Grace has been super excited the whole day, and I thought you should know." Sam said, chuckling as Dean did the same, hearing Grace in the background exclaim about how she picked the nursery color. "I need to go stop her from picking five colors and trying to blend them all together. I love and miss you both…bye."

Dean saved the message and then swallowed, heading upstairs to his and Milly's room because he knew the news must have devastated her. Grace was her best friend and now her sister-in-law that she never got to see and she was going to have a niece or nephew she'd never get to interact with. It was still deathly silent though, and Dean started to fear the worst when he saw Castiel in the doorway between his and Milly's bedroom and their adjoining bathroom.

Castiel looked up at Dean. "You shouldn't come closer, Dean."

"Don't do that, Cas." Dean said softly, freezing in his tracks, tears coming to his eyes. "Don't use that voice with me."

"I'm trying to save you heartache." Castiel replied and sighed when Dean came closer.

Dean froze in the doorway when he saw Milly's body lying in the tub, an empty bottle of sleeping pills on the sink counter. The pain in his heart was almost too much to bear—he'd only been gone a little over an hour and now this? Why would she do that? Was her life with him and Johnny really that bad? How could he not see just how miserable she really was? What was even worse…was the positive pregnancy test next to the empty bottle…

"Milly!" Dean cried, sitting up in the motel bed, his eyes immediately falling on Milly's face…but she wasn't _his_ Milly. "What the Hell did you just show me?!"

Michael nodded slowly. "You had to understand."

"I want you out of here!" Dean yelled, getting to his feet, tears in his eyes. "I won't believe it! Milly would _never_ do that! _Never_! Give her back! Michael…_give her back_!"

"You're getting too close to her. I wanted to wait another couple of weeks, but you were becoming too emotionally involved, Dean. She can't be yours forever…you have to let her go." Michael explained.

Dean's eyes blazed into Milly's. "_Give her back_!"

Michael just nodded slowly, and in a warm glow of blinding light, he left Milly's body and Dean caught her, tucking her into the motel bed and looking down at her face. She looked so peaceful…so dead calm…and it was breaking Dean's heart. He couldn't believe what he had seen…he couldn't…there had to be a way to be with her…there had to be a way to keep his heart from ripping to shreds…

**Note: Okay, so Michael is seriously using guilt, huh? He has a plan and it seems to be working in his favor. As for Sam, he's starting to wonder about hunting. What are Milly and Dean going to do now? Feedback is always appreciated!**


	13. Looking Into Dean's Secrets

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**The chapter after this one will be fluffy.**

**Weird, right?**

**I mean there will still be angst in it, but I'm leading up to some things.**

**WARNINGS: Language, Sensuality, Sex, Violence, Dark Themes, Drugs.**

**ENJOY!!**

****

Sam watched Dean as Dean's eyes stayed fixed on Milly, even from his perch on the couch. There was nothing that Sam could do to help his brother, but he _did_ want to know what it was that Michael had seen. Whatever it was, Sam knew that Dean was taking it really hard, and he hated that Dean was so broken and worked up right then. They had to figure out where Lucifer was, and they had to figure out which Horseman was being summoned next.

"When do you think she'll wake up?" Sam asked Dean cautiously.

Dean shook his head, his eyes still on Milly. "I don't know…I, uh…do you think I'm going about this the wrong way, Sammy?"

"What do you mean?" Sam raised his eyebrows. "Dean…what did Michael show you?"

"He showed me a really terrible future." Dean replied, swallowing as he ran his hand down his face exasperatedly.

Sam nodded slowly and listened to Dean as Dean explained the son and Sam's happy future with Grace, and Milly committing suicide. Even though the Grace part made Sam smile and blush a little, he wasn't happy to hear about Peter and Milly taking their own lives—he wasn't happy about the guilt Michael had made Dean feel. For some reason though, Dean felt like Michael had a legitimate reason and that was why he was so forlorn…he was starting to think that Michael was right.

Dean felt selfish trying to keep Milly alive just to be with him—he'd only just met her eight years ago, and 6 years ago she had died…she had died and left her family behind. What she was doing now, for the angels, was completely selfless—she was alive but she was hiding from her family in order to protect them. How could Dean _ever_ ask Milly to give up her own family for him? Michael was right…Milly's place was no longer in this world and Dean was just going to have to accept that.

"Why did she even show herself to me?" Dean asked, wishing he hadn't asked it out loud, Milly turning her head to face him, smiling sadly.

Milly sat up. "Because sooner or later you were going to know."

"I'm…I'm going to go talk to Bobby and let you two alone. Bobby and I will be back tomorrow." Sam explained, grabbing the car keys and his jacket, heading out of the motel.

"What do you mean, Mill?" Dean asked her once Sam had shut the door behind him.

Milly pushed the covers off of her and went to the couch with Dean, surprised when he pulled her down on his lap instead of letting her just sit next to him. She stroked his hair and the two of them made eye contact, both of them wishing desperately that they could be together—have an _actual_ second chance. Dean kissed her before she could explain herself, and though happy about it, Milly pulled out of the kiss and pressed her forehead to Dean's…it was time for her to explain her actions.

"Zach wanted me to show myself to you—he and Michael both thought that it would cause you to sacrifice your free will for me and let Michael in. Cas, however, thought I should stay away from you to spare you the heartache—he really cares about you, Dean." Milly told him.

Dean nodded at her. "I know…and you also told me this, Mill."

"I didn't tell you _all_ of it." Milly admitted, biting her lip. "See, the angels were all split about the decision and I was siding with Cas until I saw how devastated you were being back her…until Michael and I talked and I realized that if anything went wrong, he'd still need you. I realized, Dean, that if anything went wrong with me being his vessel, then he'd have to come to you and try and convince you to say 'yes'…that coming to you would most likely happen in _my_ body. It was better for you to see I was brought back by me, and not my Michael using me."

Dean smiled at her, amazed that even with her own problems—even not being able to be with her own family—Milly still put him above everything else. How could he have possibly deserved a woman like him after everything that he had done in his life? All he knew in that moment was that he didn't ever want to be without her again. Even after what Michael had shown him, Dean knew that he had to figure this out…he had to have Milly and still keep her connected to her family.

"I love you." Dean told her, kissing her and then shaking his head at her as she started to pull away to ask him questions. "Milly…I just need to be with you."

_Dean hated himself for already being back on the horse this soon after Milly had died. It seemed like the only way to get his mind off of her, but for some reason right in the middle of the act he thought about it. Honestly, it had ruined the whole evening after that, and now he was finishing getting dressed to make a dash for it. Maybe if he just stayed drunk, he wouldn't have to deal with the pain of it all._

"_You're leaving already?" The girl asked him, tucking her black hair behind her ears._

_Dean nodded as he pulled on his jacket. "Time for me to go, I think."_

"_I was really hoping for a little more of a night." The girl responded. "You really talked yourself up at the bar."_

"_Sorry for the not delivering…I'm off my game." Dean told her._

_She nodded. "Right…dead girlfriend."_

_Dean __**hated**__ the way that she said it, and with a glance at her, he headed out of the motel room, slamming the door behind him. How __**dare**__ she speak about Milly like that?! She didn't even know her! Milly wasn't just some dead girlfriend to him…Milly was the one that he had lost that he had actually hoped he'd get to have forever. Sure, he hadn't been completely faithful his time away from her, but she had understood that, and she had appreciated his honesty._

_Dean felt like such a jerk as he thought back on all of it. He wanted to be furious with Milly for keeping such a huge secret like cancer away from him, but at the same time he understood why she did it. She just wanted him to accept her for who she was—not brush her off or treat her like she was fragile knowing that she was going to keel over at any moment. God, Dean missed her._

"_Whiskey." Dean ordered at the bar, sighing when two girls started giggling over him down the way—normally Dean would welcome it and offer a threesome, but right now…right now all Dean wanted was Milly back…he honestly loved her, and she had been taken from him and he couldn't stop it._

Lexi glanced at her suitcase and sighed loudly—she knew that she was supposed to be packing so that she could move out, but she'd found it. How could Grace have been so careless as to leave something this prudent just lying around? Why would Grace keep such a huge secret from Lexi about her own _sister_?! Didn't Milly think that Lexi would be able to believe what was going on? Lexi was open-minded.

"I don't understand, Mill…how could you?" Lexi asked out loud, smiling sadly.

Lexi was not stupid—when she'd found the DVD that Milly had left Grace, everything was put into retrospect for her. She knew that Milly had mentioned that she didn't want Peter and Lexi to know about the dark happenings of the world, but how could she keep such a secret from her own sister? Dean leaving and Milly standing by him no matter happened made sense now…it even made Lexi like Dean that much more.

Dean was a hero. Dean fought demons and protected the innocent. No matter what he said or did, and no matter how long he was gone, Milly always held that torch for him and none of them could every understand it. Then Milly died and left everyone something to remember her by and suddenly Grace was defending Dean in conversations and Lexi and Peter had been a little miffed. Now Lexi understood, and she'd been looking things up on the Winchesters ever since…and she had a contact that used to be a big part of the Roadhouse.

"Lexi?" Peter asked, rapping his knuckles on the door.

Lexi looked up at him and smiled. "Hey, Bro."

"How are you, Sis?" Peter asked her, putting a smile on his face because Grace had told him that he needed to cut Lexi some slack.

"I'm okay." Lexi admitted, looking over at her suitcase. "Totally not packed yet, but…okay. How are you? You look kind of conflicted."

Peter nodded slowly. "Yeah, I uh…Lex? Did you know Dean's big secret?"

Lexi swallowed as Dean groaned, looking up at Milly with pleading eyes as she got off of his lap and stood on her own two feet. Milly laughed and rolled her eyes, holding her hand out for him to take. She wasn't intending on stopping anything between them this time—even if Castiel showed up unannounced.

She'd heard what Michael had shown Dean, and she knew deep down that if she really was doomed to die again, she needed to be with Dean too. Granted she was a little nervous about it all, but she knew that Dean was with her right then, and Sam was out of the motel for the rest of the night. He had given them their space and they could use it talk, or they could use to get back into the physical swing of things with each other.

"Just follow me, Pouty." Milly told Dean, rolling her eyes and then smiling when Dean grasped her hand, his eyes lighting up.

He followed her over to the bed, and reached out to stroke her hair as she looked down at the carved initials and a smile spread across her face. She'd had boyfriends in the past, and Dean had had a couple of girlfriends and lots of one-night stands, but they knew that as cheesy as it sounded out loud, they were supposed to be together. As shotty as this seemed to them, this was their second chance together and they knew they really couldn't afford to blow it.

Milly looked up into Dean's eyes and started to take his button-up off of him. "Keep in mind that I _know_ we've done this before, but I haven't been with anyone since I got my body back and…just be gentle, all right? Wow…second time with my virginity and Dean Winchester gets to take it from me…aren't you proud?"

"I'm just glad I get it this time since I didn't get it the first time around." Dean told her with a chuckle, kissing her longingly. "It's been far too long, Mill."

Milly nodded and pulled her shirt off. "_Far_ too long."

**Note: Dean's got his girl and she seems pretty damn optimistic…but can Dean figure out how to make everything okay? Next chapter has a lot of warnings to it. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	14. But What Do You Want?

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter has less warnings than I thought it would have since I changed some of the dialogue.**

**There's some smut and a mushy moment, and it focuses mostly around Milly, Dean and Michael, with some Grace and Sam.**

**WARNINGS: Language, Sensuality, Sex, Violence, Dark Themes, Drugs.**

**ENJOY!!**

****

Dean stroked Milly's hair, kissing her tenderly as she spread her legs a little more and running her nose along Dean's as he pressed his body against hers. Milly gripped Dean's shoulders and rocked herself up against him, Dean's member aching at the contact. He just wanted to be with her, but at the same time, part of him was really enjoying dragging the moment out because it had been so long since they'd been together like this.

As Milly rocked up against Dean again, slipping her fingers into his hair, Sam found his phone ringing and he took a deep breath. He was on his way to Bobby's, and yet if that was Dean wanting him to come back, then Sam was perfectly willing to turn around and go back. To his utter pleasure and surprise though, Sam saw that it was Grace that was calling—why was Grace calling?

"Hello?" Sam answered, trying not to sound so eager.

Grace's heart stopped in her throat. "Hey, Sam."

"Hey, Grace." Sam replied, smiling at the sound of her voice. "Hey, I, uh…I'm sorry about blind-sighting you with that kiss."

"No!" Grace exclaimed blushing. "I, uh…I was actually calling you because I'd like to see you again."

Sam smiled at that, nodding slowly as Dean bit Milly's neck softly, Milly's breathing changing as Dean moved his body against Milly's slowly. She fisted his hair and really wished he'd stop with the rubbing and stroking to just initiate the act she'd been waiting for already, but he seemed to want to drag it out. Milly actually really liked being able to savor the moment, they really didn't have very good luck so far with getting to do things without being interrupted.

"Please just, uh…I'd like it if you…" Milly moaned a little as Dean rubbed their sexes against each other, loving the friction between them.

Dean grunted pleasantly. "How's that?"

Milly laughed a little and her eyes lulled, turning them over and tucking her hair behind her ears, leaning down and running her nose along Dean's as she ground herself against his lap. Dean tilted his head back, his hands automatically going to Milly's hips, which made her smile and then she hoisted herself up a little and they kept the eye contact as Dean's flesh pushed inside of hers. Since he knew it was going to be painful for her, he bit her bottom lip to keep her mind off of the sharp pain, and moaned softly when she rocked against him to replace the pain with pleasure instead.

Sam smiled when Grace laughed a little. "I'd really like to see you again too, Grace."

"I'm really glad, Sam. I, uh…I have some work to do for the next couple of days, but if you and Dean want to stay in town a little longer, I'd really like that." Grace explained, smiling. "I just…that was some kiss."

Sam chuckled and nodded. "Yeah…yeah it was."

Grace really hadn't done this whole dating thing in a really long time, and she was glad that Sam was so understanding of it. Milly on the other hand, though not in the swing of things when it came to the physical act she and Dean were indulging in, had the hang of things, and Dean brought her to her climax expertly. The two of them really couldn't think of a better way to be spending their time, and they both thought the same thing as they kissed more and stroked each other's hair: they didn't want to be apart.

_Milly coughed at first as the air went into her lungs. Her body had been dead for five years, and yet she had been aware of a lot even though she'd been dead—that was all thanks to Castiel. He had been looking after her for a few years before she died, and he wanted her to know everything that was going on…he had explained everything to her. So now, Milly was finally human again and she was looking forward to her new life even though she'd have to be alone—she no longer had cancer._

"_Thank you." Milly said out loud, trying to breathe and thank Michael and Castiel at the same time._

_Michael smiled down at her. "You're going to be all right, Milly."_

_She looked around and realized that her grave had been dug up, and she was trying to figure out who had done that—all she knew was that she knew this would happen. Castiel and Michael wanted her to be ready to live again, and she had been excited about getting to be alive. There was just one little hitch in the plan—Milly was supposed to be Michael's vessel, but she wasn't sure if she could do that or not._

"_Milly…you don't have to do this if you don't want to." Michael told her._

_Milly smiled at the voices around her. "I'm not backing down, Michael."_

"_Just remember that you still have time to back out if that is your wish." Michael reminded her softly._

_Milly had already told him that she would be, but Michael was giving her a way out—he was giving her an entire year to actually think the situation through and at the end of that year she would be able to stick to her 'yes', or say change her mind and go back to being dead. Honestly, Milly knew that death lay at the end of either decision, but this way, she was able to live life again even if she couldn't be with her family. Besides, deep down she knew that when Dean and Sam learned of their roles in the coming war, neither of them would be able to accept what was going on._

_In fact, she had been right—she was able to watch over them and figure out what was going on from Michael until Castiel went rogue and shielded them from the angels. Still, Castiel kept in contact with Milly, and let her know what it was that he knew and Milly realized that her time was coming close. Zachariah wanted her to show herself to Dean, and Castiel wanted Milly to stay her course of secrecy—and Milly had told Michael that she was behind him 100%...she'd said 'yes'._

"_He's not going to understand." Zachariah told Milly, sighing loudly when she rolled her eyes at him._

_Milly looked at a picture of Dean she had kept. "You don't know him at all."_

Dean smiled as Milly ran her fingers along his chest, kissing her temple as he ran his fingers through her hair, his back firmly against the mattress, Milly's body cradling his. She fit against him so perfectly and he breathed in the light scent of vanilla, a smile stretching across his face. This is how he always wanted it to be, and it was how Milly wanted it to be too—them together.

"We totally made it with no interruptions." Milly told him with a smile, pressing herself against him a little more. "I love you…you know that, right?"

Dean nodded, kissing her forehead. "Yeah…yeah, I know."

"Good…Michael was wrong." Milly said softly.

Dean took a deep breath, and realized that even though he really didn't want to talk about it, that Milly was going to talk to him about it. He knew that eventually they'd have to but right then? Did they really have to have such a serious conversation post sex? All Dean wanted to do right then was hold her close and never let her go…

"Michael wants to use you as a vessel to take out Lucifer, but he isn't a bad guy, Dean. Michael only chose me because I had your blood and he'd much rather use you and _not_ me…he just has no choice and I was given a deal and I took it. My end of the deal ends with my death and Michael doesn't want either of us to hurt more than we have to…but he's wrong." Milly explained slowly.

Dean took a deep breath. "I think he's right."

"No." Milly replied, shaking her head and bringing his body closer to hers. "No…Grace has already kind of seen me. She doesn't know that I'm alive exactly, but she'll understand—she understands the hunting thing so I'd be in her life if she got with Sam. Besides, if someone told Lexi and Peter, though completely skeptical at first…I think they'd be able to handle the truth. It's…it's my parents that wouldn't believe it—my father would believe it all sooner than my mother, but I assure you that neither of them would be able to cope with seeing me 6 years after they watched me die."

"I meant he's right about me needing to end this." Dean told her, kissing her head again. "But thank you for putting my mind at ease about that, Mill. I want you to be with me, but I don't want to be a reason for you to take your own life. You mean _everything_ to me, Millicent Penelope Bishop, and I'm not going to lose you—even if that means letting Michael in."

Milly really couldn't believe what it was that she was hearing coming out of Dean's mouth. She knew Dean better than he thought she did, and she knew him well enough to know that he was only making this decision for her—it wasn't what he really wanted. There was no way, that Milly was going to let Dean take any of this away from her just because he felt like he had to be 'the man' and protect her—she could protect herself.

Milly sat up a little, leaning on her elbow against the mattress. "Dean…no. You can't go against everything you believe in just to save me. You can't fix this. I did this because it meant I got to be alive—this is what I was brought back for."

"Milly, I can't just let you take this all on yourself!" Dean told her. "The angels are only using you to get to me, and I'm going to let them use you anymore! They want me, and so they're going to have me because I don't want you to get hurt because of this, and that's the final word on it."

"Dean you can't protect me from _everything_!" Milly exclaimed, closing her eyes and biting her lip. "Can you please just…can you please just try and wrap your mind around this? Lucifer is weakening and you don't have to be a part of all of the deaths that will happen when Michael and Lucifer fight. Dean, this is all something I had a _lot_ of years to think about. This is something that _I'm_ willing to have on _my_ conscience. Stop trying to put _everything_ on _your_ shoulders!"

Dean looked at Milly sadly, and stroked her hair, kissing her and loving the feel of her bare skin brushing against his as she got closer to him again. He was flattered that she wanted to do this for him, but how could he live with himself knowing that she was sacrificing so much for _him_? Milly sighed a little when Dean pulled his lips away and shook her head as she looked him in the eye.

"Dean…" She told him, trailing off as he opened his mouth to speak.

Dean looked her in the eye. "I'm scared, Mill…I'm _so_ scared about this but I have to do it. I can _not_ let you sacrifice all of this for _me_."

"And why not?" Milly asked him, and Dean raised his eyebrows in confusion at the hurt in her voice. "Damn-it, Dean you sacrifice yourself for _everyone_ around you—_including _me! Why can't I sacrifice _one_ thing for _you_?! I _love_ you! Dean, do you _want_ to be Michael's vessel?"

"No." Dean admitted, not wanting to lie to her. "No, I don't."

Milly nodded at him. "Well…I do."

**Note: Milly and Dean seem to be at least talking to each other—but not exactly seeing eye to eye. There's a very important piece of the story next chapter so stay tuned! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	15. The Final Chance

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**So here is the next chapter and I LOVE it, so I hope you guys too!**

**WARNINGS: Language, Sensuality, Sex, Violence, Dark Themes, Drugs.**

**ENJOY!!**

****

Milly smiled a little when she woke up the next morning, stretching out a bit and then running her fingers through her hair. When she opened up her eyes she really expected to see Dean laying there either watching her or still sleeping, but he wasn't in the bed with her. She took a deep breath and sat up, holding the covers up around her and biting her lip as she tried to figure out where he was.

She knew that she was over-reacting, but Milly had just _never_ woken up with Dean not there after they'd fallen asleep together—not once. It just unnerved her to finally be close to Dean and have him not want her out of his sight but for him to get up and be away from her while she was sleeping. Where had he gone? What was he doing? Why was she freaking out so much?

"Milly, you are so clingy, so stop." Milly told herself, running her fingers through her hair and then getting up to get dressed.

She really hated that she was already feeling like she was completely attached to Dean when she wasn't supposed to be. Once her clothes were gathered up, Milly got into the shower and she turned the water on, letting it run down her for a few moments, her eyes closed. She was too close to him, and all of this closeness was just going to hurt him in the end…it was already hurting her.

"How can I do this to him?" Milly asked herself sadly.

She bit her lip again and then went for her hair, shampooing and conditioning, rinsing her hair out and trying hard not to cry. She had just wanted to show herself to him and make his pain go away because she wanted him to know that she hadn't wanted him to watch her die. There were things he needed to know and yet…yet now she felt terrible because she felt like she was ruining his life—she had a second chance at life but she was going to die when this was over and how _dare_ she do that to him again?

"Cas was right." Milly said as she got out of the shower, wrapping the towel around herself. "Oh God, Dean, I'm so sorry I'm such a terrible human being. What the Hell have I done to you?"

Milly wiped a couple of tears away and then she fluffed her wet hair a little, dried off, and got dressed. Then she dried her hair, brushed it, and pinned some of her hair back, pushing her bangs out of her face and heading out of the bedroom, Dean coming into the motel room. He'd left to get them breakfast and had hoped to be back before she had woken up, but he hadn't made it and now she looked upset.

Dean didn't like that she looked so down in the dumps and he didn't like it even more when he took a couple of steps towards her after putting the bags down and she took a couple steps back. Milly bit her lip when Dean frowned at her and then she found herself verbally vomiting all over him. She hadn't wanted to, but she really had to get everything off of her chest and she hoped he'd be receptive to all of what she had to say.

"I shouldn't have showed up here again, Dean. I wanted to spare you pain, but I acted first and when I woke up without you here I freaked out." Milly explained to him and shook her head, continuing as he opened up his mouth to counter her words. "I shouldn't have freaked out because I'm being too clingy but freaking out gave me a chance to think and I'm a terrible person. I didn't tell you I had cancer, I died on you, I made you a ridiculous DVD that just hurt you more, I showed myself, and now I'm going to die on you again! Why do you even tolerate me?!"

Dean hurried to her and took her hands when she held them up to stop him, pulling her to him and smiling at her. He reached out and stroked her hair, nodding when she looked up at him and sighed, wishing she'd stop trying to pull away from him. He loved her more than he'd ever loved anyone and he just wanted her to be with him—just wanted her to stay by him and stop apologizing.

He'd honestly already forgiven her, and he knew that she felt bad about what she did, but it was only because she loved him. Also, Dean was touched by the fact that she'd freaked when he hadn't been there when she had woken up, but he also felt bad about not being there so she had freaked out. Milly bit her lip as Dean leaned down and she stepped closer to him, closing her eyes and just nodding slowly as he cupped her face and ran his thumb along her bottom lip.

"I 'tolerate' you, Mill, because I love you." Dean told her.

Milly opened her eyes. "Why, Dean? Haven't I hurt you enough already?"

"Why do you keep trying to push me away?" Dean asked her, stroking her hair. "I was already feeling bad enough about being away from you this morning, but now I'm feeling even worse—it gave you time to pin _everything_ on yourself, Mill. I just went to get us breakfast. I mean come on, Mill—you're giving up your second chance to be a vessel for an archangel to save the world! Stop living in the past, please!"

"I just…I really wanted to wake up and have you there and I'm a little frazzled…I'm sorry." Milly told him.

Dean nodded and kissed her, smiling into the kiss as she kissed him back. She was still feeling pretty bad about the fact that she was going to die again and leave him alone, but Dean wasn't going to let that happen. She had been taken from him once, and even if he was going to let her have Michael in her because that was what she wanted, Dean was _not_ going to let Milly being taken from him again—no matter what, Milly was going to live…because Dean loved her.

_John smiled at his son and then tried to figure out what it was that had Dean so down in the dumps. They were on a hunt together and since Sam was off at Stanford, they didn't have Sam with them, but Dean had never been so don in the dumps about __**that**__ before. There was something else going on…there was something else going on and John had a feeling that he knew __**exactly**__ that look on Dean's face—Dean was in love._

"_So you __**really**__ like this Milly Bishop, don't you?" John asked him._

_Dean looked up at his father. "What? Why would you say that?"_

"_I don't know…maybe I just know that face—I had it with your mother." John admitted and smiled a little and nodded when Dean smiled a bit. "So it's more than 'like' then? It's 'love'?"_

"_I…I…yeah." Dean admitted with a sigh. "I know I need to be focusing on this—and I __**am**__—but at the same time, I'm also missing her, I think."_

_John nodded and then smiled when Dean's whole face lit up when his phone went off and though he wanted to scold his son because they were on a hunt, he nodded in approval when Dean mentioned that Milly had found them some more research for them. Dean really trusted and loved this girl and John was going to be supportive—after all she was helping them on their hunt. Besides…Dean looked happy every time he talked about her, and John __**really**__ didn't want to take that away from him._

Dean spooned Milly on the couch and held her close to him after they'd had breakfast to make up for her waking up and him not being there. He liked just being able to hold her, and he smelled her hair and stroked her arms as Sam came into the motel room, followed closely by Bobby. Dean and Milly both sat up just enough to see the two, giving them a small wave, Bobby smiling at them.

"I'm Bobby—I take it you're Milly?" Bobby asked her.

Milly beamed at him. "Yes, I am—I've heard quite a lot about you, Bobby. You're Dean's second father. He really looks up to you and loves you."

"Milly." Dean told her with a laugh, trying to get over the caring and sharing she was doing on his behalf as Bobby looked at him with a smile and started to wheel himself over.

"Just because _you_ can't say it out loud, doesn't mean that _I _can't." Milly replied with a shrug, and then sat up completely and looked up at Sam. "Since we have to get out of Cottonwood Falls today, I figure that we should head out as soon as possible—I have a house we can head to."

Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah, about that…Grace had a talk with your brother and he's letting us stay…and I have a date with her tonight."

Milly's jaw dropped and then she smiled brightly—she was glad that Grace had a date and she liked Sam, so that worked with her too. If the two of them were happy then she was happy for them, but they _had_ to get out of Cottonwood Falls. Milly's presence there was definitely overdue, and she needed to get her act together and leave the place again…leave her family again.

"I'm glad that you have a date with Grace tonight, Sam, but I have to get out of town. I have a house right out of town, so you can just drive back to be with her." Milly explained to him. "Dean and I are already packed up, and I think we should head out now."

Bobby nodded at her. "I say we listen to Milly."

Sam nodded as Dean agreed with Bobby, all of them heading thirty minutes out of town and to a quaint little house. Dean suddenly felt some pangs in his stomach and realized that he wasn't sure _exactly_ what he was feeling, but he was pretty sure…he wanted this and he wanted this with Milly. How could he though? They were in the middle of the _apocalypse_, and at any time, Michael could come back and be in Milly for good until the end…how was he going to deal with that?

"You have a very nice home, Milly." Bobby told her, smiling at her as Dean stroked her hair.

Neither Sam, Dean, nor Bobby had really been feeling very good lately—not after the loss of Ellen and Jo. They just wanted this war to be over with, and Milly couldn't blame them because she wanted it over with too. So Bobby was glad to see that Dean had a girl to love that loved him back, and he felt bad for Dean at the same time—Milly was doing what the angels wanted _Dean_ to do…this Dean/Michael/Milly situation was _definitely_ far from over.

"There are two guest rooms and Dean can sleep with me, so let's go ahead and get settled in. There are few things I need to do, so make yourselves at home and I'll be back soon." Milly explained.

Dean looked at her. "Wait…what?"

"It's okay…I promise that I will explain soon." Milly told him, kissing him softly and then pulling back and smiling a little at his pout, telling him she loved him and then laughing when he swatted her butt when she turned around to show off for Bobby and Sam. "Well how romantic, Winchester."

Dean smiled at her as she walked away after handing him the key, and he, Bobby and Sam went into the house and started to make themselves at home. Actually at first Dean had half the mind to follow Milly and figure out what it was that she was doing, but he trusted her and he had to show her that. So instead he looked over some hunt findings of Bobby's, and they were so busy with it that they didn't hear Milly come in and start to cook in the kitchen.

The only thing that caught the boys' attention was the smell of something sweet and amazing, and so they went into the kitchen and Dean found himself groaning happily. He had forgotten that Milly could cook, and Bobby and Sam exchanged looks and watched Dean's face as his eyes lit up. Dean walked over to her and put his hands on her hips, her back to his front, and leaned over as she stirred a pan on the stove.

"It smells like cookies." Dean told her.

Milly giggled and shook her head. "It's not cookies—it's just chocolate, peanut butter, and a dash of vanilla. Then I'm going to coat some rice and corn Chex, then put it all in a container with some powdered sugar, shake it all up and BAM! Muddy Buddies."

"Sounds good." Dean said, and then smirked when Milly dipped her finger into the melted chocolate.

"Does this taste good?" Milly asked him, holding her finger up to his mouth while still stirring the mixture.

Dean didn't even remember that Sam and Bobby were still watching, and put this mouth over her finger, sucking the chocolate/peanut butter mixture off of her finger, turning to Sam and Bobby when they laughed and whistled. Milly laughed a little too and then took the sauce pan off of the stove, going about doing what she had said she was going to do while Dean blushed a little. Then she let them try what she'd made and bit her lip, taking Dean by the hand and dragging him out of the room after they all told her that the Muddy Buddies were fantastic.

"I love you." Milly assured him, kissing him, running her fingers through his hair.

Dean stroked her hair too. "I love you too, Mill…where is this coming from?"

"Dean…it's time." Milly replied slowly.

Dean wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but then he watched as she glowed white, swallowing because she was no longer Milly Penelope Bishop…she was Michael the archangel. This time, Michael wasn't trying to see where Dean was with her either—Michael wanted to take out Lucifer and stop the apocalypse. Dean had had Milly, and now…now he didn't have her anymore…all he had was Michael in Milly's flesh and it was breaking his heart…

**Note: There was some fluff but then a cliffhanger. Man…what will happen next? Feedback is always appreciated!**


End file.
